I'd Spend A Lifetime With You
by queenconniebee
Summary: A continuous storyline for any Jonnie fans out there! Most chapters K, but rated T just in case. Made from small updates, many romance/fluff, some angst/emotional.
1. Chapter 1

**Ongoing Jonnie fluff ;) Hope you all enjoy! x**

 **As ever, I do not own Casualty, any of its plots or characters.**

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She rolled her head to one side, before inhaling and sighing sleepily, opening her eyes slowly. She turned on her side, propping her elbow up on the pillow, watching his nose crinkle as he breathed. She would always wake up before him and no matter how many times he told her to nudge him awake too, she could never bring herself to disturb him. After a few minutes, she slipped quietly from the bed and took her thin, white dressing gown from the hook on the back of the door. She tied it about herself as she walked down the stairs, taking a hair tie from the pocket and fastening her hair loosely at the nape of her neck. She smiled on entering the kitchen, hearing movements from upstairs, and put a pod in the coffee machine before taking an apple and an orange from the fruit bowl.

She had finished cutting the apple by the time he joined her, and just as she took a piece from the board she felt it leave her fingers, followed by a strong arm around her waist and a soft kiss to her neck. She turned her head to look up at him, an eyebrow raised in amusement, and he promptly returned the apple piece to her mouth, grinning as he slipped both hands to her waist and toyed with the tie to her gown. She tried to ignore him, before she rolled her eyes as she felt the material loosen considerably around her.

"You..." She swatted his hands away as she moved to the coffee machine, but he merely reattached them and sauntered over with her. "You are so naughty!" He groaned as she tried to wriggle free of his grasp, before turning around, her back pressed against the counter. He was so close, and she desperately resisted placing her hands on his chest, so they squeezed uncomfortably behind her. He laughed as he watched her move her head from side to side to avoid his, she would always pretend that his affections irritated her but really, really she adored how much he seemed to crave her, from the very first minute of every day.

"And you..." He let go of her waist and placed his fingers on either side of her jaw, hands cupped just around her chin. "You are so beautiful." She poked her tongue into her cheek, her eyes firmly focused on his. He kissed her then, and her hands moved from behind her to rest just under his shoulders. She pressed herself against him, smiling into the kiss before she drew back and ducked to the side, running quickly through the kitchen and into the living room.

"Oh, this was for me then?" She imagined his smirk as he called through to her, and she heard the unmistakable crunch of an apple, followed by the scraping of a stool against the floor. She peered her head around the door to see him as she predicted, smiling cheekily at her, and she moved forward to snatch her apple from him.

"I don't think so..." He brought her onto his knee and held her there whilst she looked at him, eyebrows raised but with a definite smile inching it's way onto her features, no matter how hard she tried to disguise it. She bit her lip, and he sighed as he watched her; she knew that drove him crazy.

"God woman, the things I do for you."

"I cut it. It's hardly an act of chivalry, if that's what you're wanting to believe."

He picked up another piece of apple from the board on the table and placed it in her mouth.

"I love you." He waited for her to finish, and she put her hands around his neck.

"Yeah, and I love you too."

"Do you want me to..."

"Get _my_ coffee, and _my_ orange? Yes please. There's porridge in the cupboard."


	2. Chapter 2

He sat on the sofa in her office, watching as she placed her stethoscope around her neck and flicked her hair over her back. She wore a floaty black dress which didn't even skirt her knees, and from this angle he was particularly content with the view. He let a small, low laugh escape and her head tilted at him in confusion.

"Why are you laughing?"

"I'm not laughing." He winked at her before settling back into the sofa, knowing that this would irritate her. He watched her as she stood with her hands on her hips behind the desk, her gorgeous green eyes piercing his. "I just had a thought..."

"Oh?"

"Mhm."

"Jacob!"

"Yes, sweet cheeks?"

"I really don't have time for this..." She moved to stand directly in front of him and he desperately tried to stifle another chuckle.

"What do you think people would say if they knew how many times that dress has been off and on this morning?" He watched her bite her tongue and fold her arms.

"Well it's not like I had a lot of input, so obviously I'd have to let them know that it wasn't down to my indecisiveness." He laughed in response, and she moved back to her desk to pick up a pile of notes and her phone, before noticing that he was still sat on her sofa.

"Are you just going to sit there and stare at me or are you actually going to do some work today?"

"Well..."

"Rhetorical, Jacob." She gave a slight smile as he eased himself up from the sofa, muttering and grumbling. She moved past him to open the door, but he caught her hand and she reluctantly turned to face him. She sighed and looked up at him, to see his annoyingly handsome grin. "Will you stop that?"

"Stop what?"

"That." He pulled her against him, knowing that she was fighting a losing battle. And she knew it too.

"What's 'that'?"

"Oh, I think you know..." He gave a chuckle and bent his head to kiss her. He could feel her mumble against his lips briefly before her tongue met his and her hands were around his neck. He smiled, and one hand snaked down to her leg where her dress had risen, smiling more as she continued to kiss him.

"Right, now you can feel like you've achieved something today, and I can actually go and save some lives." She prised his hand from her waist, took her phone and papers from the desk as she walked out of the room, hearing him chuckle behind her.


	3. Chapter 3

"Let me take you out tonight."

"I can't, Jacob I have got to give Hanssen these reports by tomorrow morning..." He could sense her stress, and squeezed her hand as they walked through the ED. She would never admit to not being on top of it but he knew that this week had been a struggle. This shift, in particular, had been a struggle; two young girls had died following a serious RTC, and although he hadn't been able to be in resus with her he knew that it would have hit her hard.

"Hey, that's fine. Is there anything I could do? I mean I'm not the master signature-forger but I can help with the standard stuff..."

"It's really not that bad, there's just a few things that are urgent and..."

"Okay." He smiled at her, and she squeezed his hand back, grateful at the fact that he didn't push her to accept his offer of help. They walked out to her car, and she struggled with the two crates of files she had piled up in her hands as she tried to find the keys in her bag. "Right you, give me those." He didn't wait for her to argue, he lifted the files from her and went to the boot, opening it after hearing the click as she opened the car. She placed her bag and coat in the back before moving to the driver's side, but stopped as she heard his quick footsteps and a "N-n-n-no" as he took hold of the car door.

"Jacob please, I just want to go home..."

"Let me drive Con, you're exhausted. Come on."

She sighed but walked around to the passenger side with no argument; it was a battle she was not willing to fight. And because of that, he knew she was grateful. They drove to her house in silence and he noticed how her head rested against the window and she closed her eyes. He wanted to carry on driving around the city for a while so she could rest, but he knew that once she realised she had even less time, she would be angry as well as tired. He pulled up to her driveway and stopped, but still she didn't seem to stir, her breathing made her the hairs of her fringe flicker up and down, and he smiled to himself as he watched.

"Hey, Con..." He spoke softly, and he saw her pull away slowly from the window to turn her head towards him.

"I wasn't sleeping."

"Yeah, I know." He smiled fondly and she gave a little laugh as she ran her hands through her hair, allowing herself a few more minutes before the files in the boot consumed her entire evening. He rubbed her shoulder gently and shifted to sit sideways and face her directly.

"You know... It doesn't mean you're failing if you let me help you sometimes."

"It's fine, I don't need..."

"My help, yes I know you're going to say that. But I just want you to know that it's okay to have a stressful day and not feel like you can just soldier through it."

She looked at him and he wondered if he had overstepped 'the mark.' He didn't care, he needed her to know that failure did not come with a little delegation here and there.

"Connie..."

"Thank you." She said it quietly, but he knew that it had been difficult for her to say, even to him. He put his arm around her shoulder and brought her into his side, and kissed her head as she moved her hand to the side of his arm.

"So..." He looked down at her and she smiled as she met his eyes, a familiar spark beginning to settle again in hers.

"We'll be needing wine."


	4. Chapter 4

"You never wanted his job?"

"Hm?" She looked up from her laptop as he spoke.

"You did CT surgeon, then DOS, ED Consultant and now Clinical Lead... Never CEO?"

"God, no. No, no, no."

"So you're happy with the incomplete set?" He smirked, and she reached to the table to pick up her glass.

"Very, actually."

"Interesting." She rolled her eyes in response, and he continued to work through the pile of forms she had allocated to him. It was unbelievably tedious, he really had no idea how she did this on her own so often. It would drive him mad.

"You're very slow." She took a sip and watched as he finished writing a set of numbers, before he brought his head up to look at her.

"You being serious?"

"I'm just saying..."

"It takes a lot of concentration..." She raised her eyebrow in response, taking another sip from her glass before placing it back down on the table. They sat in silence for a while, the only sounds being the tapping of the keys on her laptop and the scratching of his pen over paper. She felt slightly guilty, she hadn't expected him to take her so seriously, she had expected him to make some witty reply and laugh it off.

"I just don't want to get anything wrong." He spoke quietly with his head down, and she stopped typing so he knew that she was listening. "I know you wouldn't let me help unless... Well you know why, so I don't want to get it wrong and make it more stressful." There was a pause before he heard her then ease herself from the sofa where she sat, across from him so they could share the table, and looked at her as she moved to sit next to him, taking the papers from his hands and placing them down on the floor.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean..."

"Yeah, I know." He placed his arm around her and brought her into his side and she leant into him, her legs curled up beside her. He brushed her nose gently with his finger and she smiled as she looked up at him, before reaching to bring her lips to his.

"Now don't do that, you'll distract me, get back to work. Who's being slow now?"

"Oh, do shut up." She pecked his cheek before returning to her laptop, occasionally glancing over to where he worked, unable to supress a smile as she watched him. Hours later, she brought the hood of her laptop down and took the final sip from her glass, as he placed down the last piece of paper onto the 'finished' pile. She found a discarded sheet with scribbled out numbers on it on the table, and whilst he was so engrossed aligning the edges of this week's budget figures, she folded it several times to form a plane. As soon as it hit him his head shot up, and she just sat there, smiling that beautifully cheeky smile of hers.

"You are an absolute nightmare." He got up and pulled her up from the sofa, leading her out of the living room and into the hallway.

"Thank you..." He silenced her with a kiss, and as his hands found their way to her back, and then her waist, she brought her lips to his ear despite his groans of protest. "Upstairs." He grinned at her whisper and kissed her again, their heads still fuzzy with wine, before switching the light off and following her up the stairs.


	5. Chapter 5

She groaned to herself as she finished rinsing the conditioner from her hair, remembering that she had forgotten to put new towels out the night before. They were running a little late, not too late, but late enough for it to bother her despite the pleasurable reason for it. She knew asking him to bring one to her would definitely add to their delay, but there really was no other way around the situation. She couldn't exactly walk naked across the landing dripping, to the cupboard opposite their room with him in it and go unnoticed. She decided to leave the shower running and pretend to still be washing, that way she wouldn't just be standing in front of him and they could maybe get to the ED just as their shifts began.

"JACOB?!" She shouted through the water and the steam, but got no response. "JACOB!" She shouted again, and groaned as the minutes went by. She needed to blow dry her hair, do her makeup, dress and print off a presentation for the Board, the more time she wasted deliberating over whether to go and get a towel or stand here until he came, wondering why she was taking so long only to find that she had not fainted but had been standing here deliberating over whether to get a towel, the less time she would have to do any of it. She shook herself mentally, before turning off the shower and taking a breath. She stepped out onto the mat, before shouting his name again. Seconds later there was a knock at the door and she crossed the room so that when he opened it, he would only see her head.

"You alright in there, sweet cheeks?"

"Yes. Well, I need a towel, please."

"What don't you want me to do?"

"What? Jacob, just go and get me..."

"You never say please unless you want me to not do something, so naturally I want to do the thing that you don't want me to do, out of curiosity and..."

"Towel."

He tried to push open the door a little more, and she struggled to hold it.

"Why can't you just..."

"Oh, now I get it..." She didn't even have to look at his face to see the grin. She could hear it.

"Jacob..."

"Hey, hey it's okay, I'll restrain myself." She felt the pressure on the door ease and heard his footsteps go back across the landing. As she waited, she contemplated her outfit, now that a significant amount of time had been lost and this was not always the quickest decision of the morning. The white blouse with black sleeves, her favourite pencil skirt and her Louboutins were always a staple combination, however her thoughts were interrupted by another soft knock at the door. She turned the handle and pulled it back slightly, to see only an extended hand and a towel which she took gratefully, leaning into the door as she wrapped it about herself.

"Sorted?"

"Yes, thank you." She eased herself from the door and he came in, smiling and half dressed. She tried to push him out, but he only walked forwards and held her as he forced her back into the nearest wall.

"No, Jacob..."

"Ssh, you." He kissed her neck gently, the scent of her shampoo still strong, and he sighed as she dug her palm into his back. He pulled away and chuckled as she hitched the towel up her front, before kissing her lips and leading her back into the bedroom.

"You were waiting for ages, weren't you?"

"Well I did call a few times before..."

"Sorry."

She raised an eyebrow at him before going to her vanity and setting up her hair dryer.

"I..."

"Don't." She cut him off, and he chuckled again at her irritation before leaving the room to print off the presentation she had been working on the night before. She watched him in the mirror and smiled, she still couldn't quite believe that this was her life now; him and her. Little did she know that as he walked down the stairs to her laptop, he was thinking exactly the same.


	6. Chapter 6

"Mrs Beauchamp, you're needed upstairs in five minutes." A receptionist whose name she did not know peered around the doors of Resus before walking quickly back to his desk. She pushed her hair back from her face with her sleeve, midway through a thoracotomy.

 _These people did choose their moments._

"Dylan, I'm going to need you to finish up here..."

"Right, yes um, gloves please." He motioned to Jacob as she stepped away from the patient, hands in the air, searching for the bin that had been wheeled away by the porter two minutes earlier.

"Oh for goodness sake..." She winced as the dull ache in her head that she had felt since they arrived now seared, and refused to fade.

"Hey, let me take those, go on, you go and get ready." He quickly passed a pair to Dylan before moving over to her and untucking her hair from her collar. She turned around to see him, now standing in front of her and she gave a small, grateful smile as she peeled the gloves from her fingers and gave them to him, her heels clicking quickly through the doors and to her office.

She searched through her filing cabinet for the presentation, then went to her bag to retrieve a packet of painkillers, two of which she swallowed quickly with the lukewarm tea she had on her desk. She would often get headaches at this time of the year, usually first thing in the morning, because she would never drink enough water, no matter how many bottles of it Jacob would slip into her bag, into her car, and onto her desk throughout the day as a hint. She massaged her temples gently before checking her watch and leaving the room, deciding to take the back stairs rather than be accosted by patients in reception. Her phone vibrated against her leg as she walked and she took it out of the pocket, sighing. She knew she wasn't late, and even if she had been, this was an emergency department. Therefore, emergencies happened.

 _You okay? x_

She smiled at the screen as she saw Jacob's ID, and she quickly typed a reply, pausing in the stairwell as she did so.

 _Just a headache. Don't start, I'll be back down in an hour x_

She went up another two flights of stairs before she received another message.

 _I'll have bottles of the good stuff waiting for you x_

She smiled again before putting her phone away and carried on up the stairs, slightly quicker now than before.

She arrived back downstairs over an hour later, the pain in her head significantly worse, as was her mood. She went straight into her office to sit in her chair, moving any paperwork to the furthest edge of the desk, but took a sip of water from one of the three bottles that had been left on it. She pushed her fingers into her fringe, before searching through the organiser on the surface for a hair tie, which she loosely wrapped around her hair and secured. A few minutes later there was a knock at the door, and he entered carrying in his hands another packet of painkillers, an orange and a sandwich.

"You didn't need to..."

"Don't start." He winked at her, placing the various items down in front of her and moved to stand behind her, his hand resting on her shoulder as she tilted her head to look up at him.

"Thank you."

"Hey.." He kissed her head and she closed her eyes, placing her hand on top of his. "How did it go upstairs?"

"Oh, you know..." She waved her other hand dismissively and he chuckled softly, before nudging a bottle of water towards her. "I've already..."

"Drink. It's only going to get worse, come on Con." He was met with a raised eyebrow, but it was followed by a sigh as she reluctantly took it. "Right, I'm due a break in twenty minutes, I'll be back then. I want at least three quarters of that gone."

He didn't wait for her to reply, but slowly removed his hand from her shoulder and left the room, closing the door quietly behind him. She noticed how he guided one of the junior doctors away from her office, presumably intending to ask some idiotic question that they could quite easily do without her response with, and she brought the paperwork back towards her along with the orange and water, hoping that her next disturbance would only be in twenty minutes time.

Sure enough, he appeared again twenty minutes later and inspected the bottle on her desk before meeting her eyes, grinning.

"Feeling any better?"

She poked her tongue into her cheek, pausing before responding.

"Yes, actually." She struggled against the smile, biting her lip as she watched his grin be replaced by a well practiced ' _I told you so_ ' look.

"You see, sometimes we nurses have the good ideas, you doctors should start taking note."

She gave a low, dry laugh which ceased as he produced another two bottles of water from behind his back.

"Jacob, there's proving a point and then there's..."

"Well you see, I'm thinking that because this happens so often we might need to stock up, seeing as you clearly don't understand the concept of taps."

"You really are the most irritating man I've ever met."

"Well that compliment can definitely be returned the other way, sweet cheeks." She shook her head at him and he chuckled again, before bending over the desk to kiss her.


	7. Chapter 7

She glanced at her watch which she had laid down on her vanity; she had an hour before his shift finished and he would make his way to her house. He had insisted that tonight he take her out, and after everything he had done for her recently, she really wanted to make the effort. She had wrapped herself up in her dressing gown, her hair perfectly blow dried, and was now applying her make up for the evening. She had decided to leave it a bit more natural, she felt so comfortable around him that she didn't feel it necessary to apply her usual heavy eye make up when they went out. Instead she opted for a softly glittering, champagne coloured shadow, with a thin sweep of black, liquid liner which she extended slightly. She applied a few coats of mascara, and decided that she would apply her a subtle, nude lipstick once she had changed. She looked across to the wardrobe where her dress hung, and she smiled, having bought it that morning so that it would be a surprise.

Back at the ED, Jacob had his suit hung up in the staff room, for it wouldn't fit in his locker and he wanted to pick Connie up from her house and take them straight to the restaurant. Naturally, this had prompted many questions from curious members of staff, desperate to know what he had planned for their Clinical Lead.

"You taking the missus out then Jacob?" Cal had been the first to notice the dark grey and white ensemble hanging in the corner. Jacob knew she hated gossip, but he also knew that their relationship was no secret and therefore it was not worth denying the fact that he had planned a date night.

"I wouldn't let her hear you say that, but yeah. It looks alright?"

"Very swish. You two have a good time."

When his shift finally finished and he had changed, he sent a text to let her know he was on his way, knowing his taxi was outside the ED. He had to admit that he was a little nervous, he didn't know why exactly but she did have that effect on him sometimes. He remembered the first day they had met, and how wrong he had been about her. She wasn't just a sexy consultant, driven by ambition and her self confidence. And he loved the fact that that wasn't who she was at all, she had vulnerability and flaws, just like he did. He blew out a long breath before telling the driver where to go, then sat back in the seat and tried to relax as much as possible.

She checked herself in the mirror, turning to each side and then reaching behind her to fasten the small button at the nape of her neck, before taking her small navy clutch bag from the bed. She heard the taxi pull up onto the driveway and she waited, until she heard a key turn in the lock and his footsteps in the hallway. She then walked out onto the landing to see him looking up at her, transfixed.

She was exquisite.

She wore a navy dress which covered her to mid-thigh, the sleeves of which billowed softly to her elbows. It had an elegant keyhole fastening at the back, the top of which was cut out with an detailed lace pattern which stopped at the points of her shoulder blades, although he wouldn't see this until he held the front door open for her and she passed him, his audible groan not going unnoticed. On her feet, she wore a pair of navy, suede Jimmy Choo pumps which eventually drew his attention to her elongated calves as she came down the stairs, smiling at his expression and taking his hand as he led her out of the door and to the taxi.


	8. Chapter 8

"You know, I did put clothes on for a reason." She bit at her lip as she walked with him down the driveway to the taxi. He had not pulled his eyes from her once, however she doubted that the dress she wore appeared in all of his current thoughts. He sucked in his cheeks at her comment, before taking her waist as they reached the car, opening the door and gesturing for her to sit down. He then walked to the other side of the car and sat in the seat next to her.

"You look..." She leant closer to him and put a finger to his lips, aware of the warmth that had begun to spread through her cheeks. Her lips then replaced her finger, fully aware that they were not the only two people in the vehicle but at the same time accepting that the poor man in the front had probably suffered through worse. His lips slipped to her ear, and she shivered, but not at all because she was cold. "The things I could do to you..." She brought a hand to the side of his face and their eyes met, and she kissed him again.

"Behave."

He made a tutting sound in response and she pulled away to lean her head against his shoulder, barely able to supress the smile that formed at the thought of them both knowing had they carried on, restraining themselves would become exceedingly difficult. And paying the taxi driver would be a very awkward encounter.

They sat down in the restaurant twenty minutes later, Jacob had already made the necessary arrangements, so much so that there was already champagne at the table.

"What's the occasion?" She smiled, holding his hand as she sat before he moved around to take the seat opposite.

"You." He grinned back at her, more so as he watched her dip her head in the unfamiliar manner of embarrassment. He loved that he made her feel these things, things that she did not believe herself that she was capable of experiencing after all these years. He nudged her foot underneath the table gently and she brought her head up, brushing her fringe away from her eyes, thanking the waiter who had filled their flutes. "So, let's do this properly. A toast." She watched him, a smile twitching at her features. "Something... majestic. Empowering."

"Jacob..."

"Come on, sweet cheeks. You'll have been to a ton of dos, you must know some fancy ones."

"I've usually already had a few to get me through..." He looked at her with an expression of mock horror at her confession, and she gave him a look that equated to a playful slap, one she would have given had they been in a different environment.

"Nothing? Nothing at all?"

"You're so..."

"Yeah, yeah, no need to finish." He winked, before taking a breath and straightening himself, flute poised towards her own.

"Because I love you truly, because you love me, too... My very greatest happiness..." He looked at her, into her eyes. He could see how a breath seemed to hitch in her throat, as if she were surprised. She regarded him thoughtfully, before rolling her eyes; her confidence covering up her initial hesitancy and then she raised her chin ever so slightly, leaning across the table a little to touch her flute to his.

"Is sharing life with you."

He tilted his head towards her, smirking before taking a sip. "So you profess declarations of love at all of these international conferences and cardio-balls?"

"Cardio-balls?"

"Well I don't know... Do you call it a ball?" She watched as another thought seemed to form, his eyes widened slightly and he supressed a grin, picking up his drink again in an attempt to conceal it.

"What?"

"Can we have an... ED Ball?"

"Jacob, what on earth..." She paused, before sighing and pressing her tongue into the side of her cheek. "Is this about..."

"I can just imagine..."

"Please, don't." This time, he bit his lip at the image of her in an evening dress, on his arm. He'd work her round to the idea.

The rest of the evening passed, and hours later they stepped outside to the waiting taxi, and travelled back to her house in near silence, she settled against him and he put his arm around her, gently combing his fingers through her hair and pressing kisses to her head. She was so relaxed and content, she could never imagine her life as it was before, so full of constant stress, upset and isolation, with him there with her. He brought peace and control to her life, but made it so much more alive than it had ever been before.

It was near to midnight by time they arrived home, and after slipping off her shoes he motioned for her to go upstairs whilst he checked that doors were shut and the plugs were all switched off. It was a terrible habit of hers, picked up from the years of rushing around he supposed. He then followed her upstairs, and watched her for a few moments at the bedroom door as she removed her makeup and earrings, before she turned around in her seat to see him standing there.

"Sorry." He didn't move, but just smiled as she stood and moved over to pull him towards the centre of the room.

"Thank you..." She spoke softly, rising on her toes to kiss him. "Thank you for tonight." He kissed her back, his arms wrapping around her waist before remembering the back of her dress, the button at her neck, and the lace. He brought her even closer to him, gently slipping the button through the clasp, smiling against her lips as he felt her fingers go to the buttons of his shirt.

"I love you." He murmured, her hands now running trails up and down his torso, her fingers tickling slightly as she did so.

"I love you too." She pulled away slightly to watch him, looking down at her, before wrapping her arms around his neck as he lifted her from the ground, the two of them a tangle of breathless laughter and love.


	9. Chapter 9

She had already been awake for a while as he began to stir next to her. She curled closer to him and his arm stretched above his head, allowing her more room.

"Ina son ki..." He mumbled into her hair, eyes still closed. He then groaned and brought his arm around her, holding her to him.

"Morning, you." She looked up at him, his eyes now open and looking at hers. He then yawned, and she laughed at him.

"Ssh. Not all of us can be so awake and bushy tailed at..." He glanced away from her to find the clock on the table next to him. "Six-thirty." He groaned again and brought his hand to his face, whilst she took her phone from the table on her side and lay back flicking across various screens, the closeness of the light making her squint slightly.

"What did you say?"

"Hmm?"

"You said something... Something 'ki'?"

"Did I?" He turned his head back to face her, grinning, knowing full well what she meant, even though he wasn't fully awake when he had said it.

"You do it a lot." She lowered her phone and turned her head on the pillow. He took it from her, placed his arm around her again and kissed her slowly, before rolling to hold himself above her, effectively pinning her beneath him. He pulled back, momentarily ignoring her sigh at the loss of contact, and just admired her. How her hair splayed out around her on the pillow, and how she seemed so happy. It was these moments that he really treasured with her, because she was so uncharacteristically open and exposed; she would never let just anybody see that.

He slowly rolled back onto the bed, propping himself up with his elbow, watching as she turned onto her side too and brought the duvet up to her neck, extending her hand quickly to retrieve her phone from where it had landed between them.

"Ina son ki." He spoke softly, and to his surprise she simply continued to tap away at her phone. She then looked up, fingers paused.

"How do you spell that?"

"Why are you so interested, sweet cheeks?" He had to admit he was puzzled, usually she just asked him to tell her what it was he was saying when he slipped into Hausa.

"Because..."

"Because?" He tried to look over to see what she was doing, but she held it under the duvet. "What are you doing?" She could detect the amusement in his voice, and she sighed before handing him the phone. He would only tickle her until she gave it up anyway.

"You say it a lot, but I always forget to..."

"Add it in here... Is this some sort of phrase book?" He felt his heart squeeze as he scrolled down the screen of the notes page on her phone, full of Hausa phrases that he recognised as his own. Some of them she had researched, and some didn't have an English translation next to them. He let out a laugh as he recognised most of these were curse words. "I can tell you why you forget to add that one in here." He put the phone down, and caressed her head gently as he brought his lips to her head. "You're right, I do say it a lot."

"What does it mean?"

"Ina son ki. I love you." She looked into his eyes, and kissed him softly, his arms reaching to take the duvet from her as she sat up, kisses intensifying as he brought her to sit across him. "You forget... Because this always... happens." He spoke in between kisses, his hands cupped to her jaw as hers rested just below his shoulders. He suddenly sat up a little straighter picked her up from the bed, settling her down gently on the floor as he took her dressing gown from the door. "Right, come on then you. To work!"

"Jacob..."

"N-uh. Come on." He pulled her up and she took the dressing gown from him before kissing him, wondering if perhaps she could get their breaks to correspond today in order to finish this morning's antics.


	10. Chapter 10

"I'm sorry, I'm going to have to stay..." She gestured to the current mess that was her desk. Five hours spent dealing with emergency cases in resus, and still the forms, rotas and plans had continued to surge in to the point where the two marked trays she had left in her absence had simply overflowed. .

"Alright. Do you want me to..."

"It's okay. I should be back before..." She paused, doing a quick scan of the desk. "Eleven, maybe."

"Con..."

"It's fine. I'll see you at home, okay?" She gave him a quick kiss on the cheek before sitting down, watching as he reluctantly left her, before beginning to sort through the papers.

He walked out through reception, waving a half hearted dismissal to Iain's invitation to the pub, spotting Charlie waiting at the desk.

"Charlie, have you got a minute?"

"Er, well yes. Is everything okay?"

"It's just..." He paused, unsure of whether he should have just fought harder himself. He then shook himself as he remembered that this was Connie, she wouldn't have listened to him anyway. "It's Connie. Tell her she has to leave at eleven, please Charlie? She came in at half-seven this morning with me..."

"She told me that she came in at two..." He trailed off as he was met with a pointed look from Jacob, followed by a defeated sigh. "I'll talk to her."

"Thanks, Charlie."

An hour later she had finally started to complete the paperwork after having sorted through it. Thankfully, most of it was not a matter of urgency and could be left until tomorrow morning if needs be. She looked up as she heard a knock at her door and her initial frown turned to a small smile as Charlie entered, bearing takeaway coffee.

"Thank you..."

"Don't mention it. Can I sit down?"

"Um, yes of course." She gestured to the sofa and he took a seat. She hesitated before speaking, hoping that he wouldn't try to chat, she really needed to just get on and leave.

"Is everything okay?" This time it was his turn to hesitate.

"You tell me, Connie."

"Charlie, I don't have time..."

"You haven't been in since two, have you?"

"It's really none of your business..."

"Connie. Listen, please." She sighed, before taking the coffee and sipping at it. The quicker he said his piece, the quicker he would leave her alone. "Jacob told me what happened in resus. Why didn't you get Dylan to come from cubicles? We would have managed."

"Charlie, I'm a doctor..."

"Yes, I know that. But you don't have to do everything on your own, single handed. You shouldn't be coming in that early and leaving so late, and I know you know it too."

"I'm Clinical Lead, it's part of the job. Jacob knows that, and so do you! What am I supposed to do, Charlie?"

"Use the department. Let us take some of the weight off, you're good at your job and that isn't going to change. But there is more to your life than work, especially now. Think about it, please?" She sighed again, picking up her pen before looking to her phone as a message flashed up on her screen.

"I need to finish this." It was a whisper, she could barely convince herself, let alone Charlie.

"Think about it." He got up to leave, closing the door behind him and she knew he was right. She tapped her phone, sighing as she noticed the time.

 _Can I call? I promise I won't say anything embarrassing if you have to put me on speaker so you can work x_

She closed the message before flicking to the address book, and let the phone ring, her eyes stinging as tears threatened to fall. She didn't want to be here, she wanted to be at home, with him; she could be there now if she hadn't taken control of resus that afternoon. Thankfully, seconds later she heard the voice of the only person she wanted to talk to right now, and the care and comfort in it made her shoulders heave, the tears rolling slowly down her cheeks.


	11. Chapter 11

"I just don't know how to do it, Jacob. I can't... I don't want them to think I can't do it because I can, I can but I can't fit everything in..."

"Con? Connie, listen to me okay, it's okay. Deep breaths, I'm not going anywhere until you tell me what you want to do, alright? That's it..." He tried to keep his own voice steady and calming. He had wanted to talk to her to try and convince her to come home, or at least keep her company without getting in the way. He had not been expecting this. All he wanted to do at this moment was run to the ED and be with her, but that wasn't what she needed right now. His stomach had dropped when, after his joke about being able to afford the phone bill was ignored, he realised she was crying; he was already on his way to putting on his shoes. But then she started talking, so he stood leaning against the bannister, trying to reassure her.

"You talked to Charlie..." As she spoke he pressed his hand to his forehead, and if his stomach could sink any lower, then it did.

"I'm so sorry... Con, I'm sorry I shouldn't have, I just... You work too hard and I'm worried, I thought maybe he could..."

"I know."

"Connie..."

"He did. I know... I shouldn't have stayed in resus today, there was no need. I think... I think I just need a nudge sometimes, Jacob."

"A nudge?"

"A nudge."

"It's going to be okay, Connie."

"You know, it's all your fault." He heard her sniff and give a slight laugh, and he smiled sadly. He didn't need to ask her what she meant. He was a change, a big one. She didn't allow herself to fall in love but she had, and that in turn had changed her. Work was no longer completely synonymous with Connie Beauchamp.

"Come home..." He whispered, despite knowing that she wouldn't.

"Half an hour. I promise." He knew she wasn't okay, no matter how decisively she cleared her throat and tried to stop her words from shaking.

He paused, before deciding that the best thing to do would be to let her go, and talk when she came home. "Connie, I love you."

"I love you too. Half an hour." She then hung up and he walked through to the living room, dropping his phone onto the sofa. He moved over to her bookshelves, and ran a finger lightly over the spines of her books, and waited until he heard the Mercedes pulling up to the house, the glare of the headlights reflecting in the glass of the window of the front door. He had already unlocked it, but he stayed in the living room, not wanting to crowd her. He heard the door open, followed by the clatter of her heels as she let them fall to the floor before coming to stand in the entrance to the room.

"Hey you..." He got up from where he sat on the arm of the sofa, taking her hand in his and holding her close to his chest. She didn't move to hold him; at his touch she had started to cry softly, noiselessly, he could feel her shake slightly and he felt the dampness of her tears on his skin, soaking through his t-shirt. She stood, still wearing her coat and holding her car keys, too exhausted to even try to stop the tears from falling.


	12. Chapter 12

"Is that for me?" She stood in the entrance to her office, a stack of paperwork in one hand, looking at him with a knowing smile on her face. He sighed dramatically as he handed over his takeaway coffee, before gently backing her into the room, taking her forearms as he did so.

"Please don't just pretend last night didn't happen, Con."

"I'm not..." She stopped speaking at the expression on his face, which softened as he tilted his head to look at her directly. "I don't need you to check up on me."

"I'm not going to."

"Good. Now you know that I'm doing only what I need to when I need to do it, and I will work today within my shift, are you happy?"

"Happier."

"Well then, we're all good." She gave a small smile and he sighed again, giving her a chaste kiss before leaving and entering resus.

She walked in half an hour later, and was pleased to see that Cal and Dylan seemed to have everything under control. There had been no major incidents that had required her attention, so she decided to go through to reception to see if she could help to clear some of the backlog.

"Everything okay, Connie?" She turned around to see Charlie, ambling over with patient notes in hand.

"Yes. I just came to help out here for a bit before I'm needed upstairs. Anything I can help you with?"

"Actually... Yes. There's a woman in three complaining of abdominal pain and headaches, I've done an ultrasound but nothing's shown up..."

"Right, well I'll come and have a look now."

Four hours later and she was finished, having spent the last two hours in a meeting with Hanssen, she was now only too keen to get back home. The handle of her office door turned and clicked open, and she turned her head to see Jacob standing there, jacket in hand, ready to leave.

"I just need..."

"Connie..."

"To find Charlie." He raised his eyebrows in response, and reluctantly allowed her to pass him. He took her bag from where she had left it on her desk and her coat from the stand, before leaning back against the wall, eyeing the clock attentively. Minutes passed and still she didn't return, in frustration he decided that he would, if needs be, forcibly drag her out of the ED this afternoon if he had to. He walked through cubicles, and then asked Noel if he had seen her, to which he said that he hadn't, and with a sigh of complete exasperation he walked to Rita's office. He looked through the glass of the door to see that Charlie and Connie were in there, talking. He waited outside for another five minutes, until the door unlocked and he moved to stand against the opposite wall, directly in front of her.

"Your coat and bag, Queen Bee." He grinned as she poked her tongue into the side of her cheek and quickly took the items from him, unaware of Charlie's grinning face behind them, and he led them out of the ED and into the car park.

"So, what was all of that about?" He asked her, his hand slipping gently about her waist as they walked.

"Nothing important. You don't need to worry about it."

"Alright, sweet cheeks." He sighed, and moved around to the passenger side as she insisted on driving.

She wasn't going to tell him what they had talked about, and he wasn't going to push it; because today she had left very nearly on time, with one folder of paperwork, and a genuine smile on her face.


	13. Chapter 13

"Hey, I know you're hungry but this stuff takes time. It doesn't just whip up like that." He snapped his fingers to emphasise his point, ladle in hand as he stirred a pot on her stove, grinning as she sauntered over to where he stood. He had left her in the living room with a glass of wine, so that she could rest; he should have known it wouldn't settle with her for long. She placed one hand down on the side beside him, and reached up on her tip toes to kiss him, oblivious to his struggle with watching dinner, holding a dripping ladle and satisfying her.

"For goodness' sake, woman. Put me down!" She grinned against his lips, before pulling away and taking the ladle from him.

"I can't just sit in there. I don't do-"

"Relaxing. Yeah, I got that message." She used her other hand to slap him playfully on his arm, and he wound his hands around her waist, pulling her back against his front as he kissed her neck. "Now then... Why don't you actually go and make yourself useful, sweet cheeks?"

"Are you saying-"

"No, you have your uses. Just not in the kitchen." He winked at her, and ducked away from her as she placed the ladle back in the pot and turned to face him, struggling against a smile that threatened to give away the fact that she really just wanted him to tease her more.

"Come on then, Mr Masters. What are my uses?"

"Oh, I think you know." She moved over to him, wrapping her arms around his neck and kissing him again, before he remembered the stove and quickly rushed over, leaving Connie behind, laughing.

"Am I distracting you?"

"What do you think?"

"Well..." She grinned, and he rolled his eyes, turning the heat down on the stove before looking around her kitchen.

"Asparagus."

"What?"

"Can you cut some asparagus?"

"I can perform a carotid endarterectomy blindfolded, Jacob. I'm sure I'll manage."

"Good. Get going."

She did as she was told, softly humming to herself as she washed and then began to cut the vegetables. Jacob smiled to himself, he had never heard her sing or hum before, and he stood for a moment just listening to the sound before he decided to call her out on it.

"You've got quite a tune going there, sweet cheeks." She turned around quickly, resting the knife on the chopping board. She didn't say anything, and he took this as an opportunity to push this further. "Feeling quite at ease with that asparagus?"

"What on earth-"

"You never sing around the house. Ever." He turned back to stir the contents of the pot once more, before resting the ladle and moving to stand behind her.

"Funnily enough, I don't want to cause you any unnecessary pain." She turned her head to look at him, a small smile on her face. His instantly fell, and he shook his head at her.

"No, no no, I want to hear more."

"Jacob I don't-"

"You do! You have a lovely voice." At this, he saw how her cheeks reddened slightly, and she turned in order to continue chopping the asparagus.

"I only hummed. You can't make a judgement on a hum." He rolled his eyes, she always found a way to be so pernickety about everything. However, he always found a loophole.

"You don't even need a hum to judge a lovely voice. There are many occasions during which your voice has-"

"Okay, stop right there." She looked back up at him, unable to stop the smile that inched it's way onto her face; she doubted he was just meaning to compliment her voice in everyday conversation.

"Aw, come on..." She swatted his hands from where they settled on her waist, and at this he only turned her around so that she faced him, her back pressed into the counter. She reached up to his ear, and he bent down so that she wasn't straining quite so hard.

"Only after an extortionate amount of wine." He grinned as she whispered, before pulling back and tilting his head to admire her.

"Done."


	14. Chapter 14

"Jacob, I am going to miss the train-"

"I still don't see why they couldn't send Dylan. Sometimes we can't cope for three hours without you, let alone three days."

"Are we still talking about the department here, or just you?"

"Just me?" He released one hand from her waist, feigning hurt at her comment.

"Yeah, just you..." She laughed, and took hold of his top, kissing him before pulling back and opening the front door, now with one foot on the front step and one foot in the house. "I'll call you tonight, I promise."

"If you're not having too much fun, of course."

"Somehow, I highly doubt that. I love you."

"I love you too. Now shoo, I need to get ready for work."

"Shut up, you." She quickly stepped back into the house to press another kiss to his lips, before clicking quickly down the driveway, suitcase trundling steadily behind her. He sighed as he watched her get into the taxi, and after it had turned away down the road he shut the door. He went back into the kitchen, to find her empty coffee mug and an orange peel left on the counter.

"Someone remind me why I put up with this woman..." However, it was muttered with affection and he quickly cleared her mess away before going upstairs to get dressed.

...

Her phone vibrated on the table in front of her, and she smiled as she looked at the screen and saw Jacob's name.

 _11am: 8 drip stands missing, 2 drunk men throwing up over reception, and a case of aquagenic urticaria. Wishing you were here x_

She let out a small laugh, and took a sip from her takeaway coffee before sending a reply.

 _11am: Sat alone in 1st class, with an Americano and still in a 1st change of clothes. Wish you were here? x_

She then re-read Jacob's text before quickly sending another.

 _Aquagenic urticaria, really?_

...

"Aw, she's missing the urticaria, Charlie." He brought his head up to look at the older nurse who sat opposite him in the staff room, and grinned.

"I'm sure she is, it's not like you see that everyday. How long is she away for?"

"Three days..." Jacob groaned, to which Charlie released a hearty laugh.

"Is she leading it? The seminar?"

"Mhm."

"Well, I sympathise with the poor souls who booked day three." He winked at Jacob, who groaned again and let his arms slide over the table. "Right then, come on, we can't have you wallowing all day. Cubicles are calling."

...

"Hey, you." She sat in the bed in the hotel room, phone held to her ear and a cup of tea in her other hand, her laptop resting on her legs as she sat propped up by a plethora of velvet, purple cushions. He didn't respond, but she could hear him moving about in the background, and then the sharp click of what she recognised immediately to be her office door. She shuffled slightly, sighing in annoyance as the cushions fell down behind her.

"Have you eaten?" On hearing his voice, she stopped rearranging them and instead took a sip from her cup.

""Hello Connie, how was your journey? I've really missed you today"... Yes, I missed you too..."

"Sorry, I just-"

"Yes I've bloody well eaten, okay? And right now I'm drinking tea, in my underwear, wrapped in a duvet."

"Aw, I love it when you get annoyed. And obviously when-"

"Shush, you. We'll see if you're still saying that when I get back."

"Whatever you say, Queen-"

"Oh, and if you think I'm oblivious to the fact that you've sat yourself down in _my_ chair, in _my_ office, then you're very much mistaken, Muscles." She smiled as she heard Jacob mutter, biting her lip as she swirled the contents of her mug. "What was that?"

"What was what?"

"I can hear you muttering."

"Absolutely nothing."

"Like hell it was nothing." She shifted again in the bed, smiling as she talked, imagining him in her office, feet up on the desk because she was away and he knew it irritated her.

"How did you know?"

"That you're in my office? Well, for one I heard the door and the chair, and secondly because I know you take any liberty when it's on offer-"

"Your chair does have quite the rattle to it."

"Yes. But you know that already." At this he grinned, and shuffled his feet on the desk.

"Tsk. If people knew what Clinical Leads really get up to in their offices-"

"Jacob!"

"What, sweet cheeks? You can hardly deny it, it takes two-"

"Speak quieter, at least!"

"You weren't worried about noise when-"

"Jacob!" She tried to sound severe, but the laughter came through and completely undermined her attempt to chastise him. She had never known someone who could do that to her, but he succeeded nearly every time.


	15. Chapter 15

"Can I get you anything, Miss?" She turned around slowly to the man who had addressed her, and gave him a decisive glare before replying.

"No, thank you." He quickly retreated back behind the counter where students were being served lunch, and she turned back to face the window which looked out over the river. She had a cup of tea and an unopened sandwich on the table in front of her, along with her phone and tablet, and was considering leaving to go and prepare her second presentation of the day before a message lit up the screen of her phone.

 _How did it go? x_

She sighed, looking out at the river again. She didn't mind giving the presentations, but the whole atmosphere was not something she enjoyed anymore. She wanted to be at home, with Jacob, or at the ED where she was actually making a difference. Most of the students would never actually make their way into the profession and stay there, they didn't have the perseverance, intelligence or the discipline that was required. But then again, she thought, Dr Knight came from this crop, and he wasn't wholly useless.

 _Ready to come home._

 _Oh dear. Everyone still alive? x_

She gave a little laugh, thinking of the man she had sent scurrying away only minutes before.

 _How dare you..._

 _Aw SC, I'm sure they're loving the heat just as much as I do... x_

She rolled her eyes, before putting the sandwich in her bag and finishing her tea. She checked her watch and groaned, hoping that she would be able to leave quickly afterwards. They had kept her answering questions for another hour this morning, two of which were invites to dinner. She made a mental note to tell Jacob about that later.

...

"Pining, Jacob?" Cal sauntered into the staff room, grinning at the man in the white uniform who sat on his own at the table, head resting on one hand, turning his phone around in his hands as he waited for Connie to reply. "You know, you could come out with us tonight..."

"Nah, but thanks, Cal."

"Sure?"

"Yeah."

"Alright." He went to his locker, looking over Jacob's shoulder as he did so. "Did you tell her?" Jacob looked at him then groaned, shaking his head.

"No, what she doesn't know won't hurt her-"

"When's she back?"

"She's on shift Saturday morning."

"I really think you should..." He stopped at Jacob's expression before continuing. "Seriously mate, she'd rather hear from you then from Hanssen, I'm sure."

"Oh, cheers Cal." He replied sarcastically. He couldn't tell her, Cal was mad if he thought that that was a viable option. However, he also didn't want her to return at the end of the week, not knowing. Cal clapped his shoulder before leaving the room, and he checked his phone once more despite knowing she hadn't replied. He let out a sigh, before putting his phone back in his pocket and heading towards resus.

...

It was dark by the time his shift finished, and as soon as he left the ED to walk home, he took his phone from his pocket, hoping she would have had something to drink. He partly wanted to tell her to her face, but by then it would be too late.

"Evenin', sweet cheeks."

"I miss you." He smiled as he walked, and heard her sigh.

"I miss you too."

"Do you know, I think I've had more invitations today then actual medically orientated questions."

"Have you indeed?" He laughed, but he couldn't ignore the slight spark of something that ignited in him when she talked. It wasn't jealousy, but more a sense of a need to protect her.

"Mhm. However, little do they know that I accept invitations only from a certain man and am therefore not really 'otherwise engaged', simply indifferent to their offers."

"God, I really miss you." He heard her laugh, followed then by a series of soft, metallic squeaks. He grinned, turning a corner onto his street. "Well, I'm glad someone's relaxing." She gave another dry laugh, settling herself down in the bath and placing her phone on a shelf by the side. "That bad?"

"I just want to come home."

"Only two days, and then you can come back and..." He paused, debating whether to just come out with it now, or not.

"Jacob?"

"Sorry, just finding the keys. Two days until you come back and sort us out."

"Are you at yours?"

"Ye-es..."

"I said you could stay at mine-"

"I know, but it's not right when you're not there."

"When I get back..." She trailed off. This wasn't something she had been planning to do today, and she didn't want him to think she was only saying this now because they were apart.

"Con?"

"It doesn't matter."

"Everything matters with you. What were you going to say?" He closed the front door, dropped his keys on the stairs and sat down on the sofa in his front room.

"I was thinking...Well, I mean, you might as well move in."

"You being serious, sweet cheeks?"

"No, I thought I'd say something like that and then immediately retract the offer, Jacob." He grinned, knowing that her sarcasm was covering for her nervousness.

"Well now, I really really miss you."

"Jacob-"

"Of course I'll move in, Queen Bee." He grinned, before remembering what he still hadn't been able to tell her, and definitely could not break to her now.


	16. Chapter 16

Having pushed her suitcase into the corner of the carriage, she walked to her seat on the train, grateful that this was something she would never have to do again. She knew her shift tomorrow was likely to be an unpleasant one, but she would get used to it. She took out her phone from her coat pocket, and typed a quick message to Jacob.

 _Can you pick me up? I forgot to book a taxi and it's probably too late now._

 _You forgot? It's a good job I've got dinner and wine sorted then, isn't it? Of course x_

She smiled, before locking her phone and settling back into the chair, eventually drifting off, waking up two stops before the train terminated at Holby. Once it arrived, she walked to the end of the train and stepped onto the platform, spotting Jacob immediately, leaning against a pillar. He straightened as he saw her, grinning, and took the suitcase handle in his hand and her waist in the other, pulling her to him as he kissed her.

"Mhm. I really, really, really missed you." She kissed him again, laughing, before walking with him to her car.

...

"Connie, there's something I've been meaning to tell you." They were laid in bed, her head resting against his shoulder as he stroked her hair, and as he spoke she turned her head to look up at him.

"Hm?"

He sighed, shifting slightly to put his arm around her. "Whilst you were gone..."

"Jacob-"

"Con, let me finish." She bit her lip to hide her smile, and nodded for him to continue.

"Hanssen put Elle to stand in for you whilst you were gone." He looked down at her, expecting an outburst. To his surprise, she only nestled closer to him. "And... Well, I think... Oh Con, I'm sorry but they're going to trial it as a permanent thing. You two together."

"I know." At this, he pulled away from her, in disbelief.

"You what?"

"Jacob, I know. I suggested it."

"You... You wanted her to?"

"Mhm." She reached up to try and kiss him, but he gently pushed her away.

"N-uh. You've got some explaining to do. Why didn't you tell me? I've been stressing out of my head about telling you for days..."

"It was meant to be a surprise."

"A surprise?"

"You saw me talking to Charlie the other day-"

"Yes, but-"

"I asked him if he thought I would be making the right decision. And he agreed with me. It means I'll have more time off, to spend at home, with you. I'll be less busy, less stressed... "

"I don't get it, Connie. The ED, it's-"

"Jacob, I love what I do. But it's not the only thing that I love anymore." He looked at her again, before leaning over to kiss her. She deepened the kiss, her legs tangling in the sheets, before sighing as he pulled away.

"It's almost as if you like making me feel stressed, sweet cheeks. Honestly, I was so..." He trailed off, he couldn't continue when she looked at him like that. He kissed her again, until she pulled away with her arms still wrapped around his neck.

"It was quite fun. But now you know, don't you feel so much better?"

"Come here, you." He held her as he moved over her, smiling against her lips so that she groaned when he didn't kiss her back.

"Stop that..." He gave a chuckle before kissing her, his hands twisting into her hair, breathing in her smell which he had missed so much over the last few days, the knowledge that she had every absolute intention of staying here, with him, firing up every cell of his being.


	17. Chapter 17

"That woman is _so_ -"

"Connie..." She was sat at her chair in her office, and he stood in front of her, leaning over the desk. Her arms were crossed across her chest, her eyes severe, and piercing.

"What, Jacob?"

"Give her a chance. You just work differently."

" _Too_ differently. Did you see the state in here after she left last night? She has zero concept of..." She trailed off as he leant further over the desk to press a soft kiss to her forehead.

"This was your idea, sweet cheeks. You know Elle, you know she's not you. Give it some time." Connie sighed in response, evidently not convinced. "Oh, and I'll make a sign."

"You'll do what?"

"Make her a sign-"

"Mrs Beauchamp, Jacob, we need you in resus." Charlie opened the door of the office and peered around, unable to stop his smile as he saw the two of them together. She stood up, raising her eyebrow at Jacob before quickly walking out of the room. She pushed open the door of resus, clicking quickly over to one of the beds beside which the monitors were beginning to bleep at an alarming rate.

"I can't get the tube in." Cal looked up at her, shaking his head. "There's no way-"

"Right, give it here." She moved around to the head of the patient, taking over. Jacob watched as she worked, before he was called over to help with a particularly nasty lower leg fracture. Every so often he would glance over distractedly, the bleeping of the machine at her side of the room impossible to block out. She too was struggling, her head shaking to either side as she tried to fit the apparatus in place, before eventually sighing with relief as she managed to fit it. "Okay, let's bag and inflate the cuff. Someone call theatre, let them know we're on the way." She glanced over to Jacob, who offered a reassuring smile before continuing to assist Lily as she realigned the leg.

...

"Staff Nurse Masters?" He heard her call from her office, and he grinned, knowing what she had found, before walking slowly over to just step inside the room. "Shut the door."

"Please."

"Hm?"

"Oh, never mind." He shut the door, and then moved over to where she stood, one hand on her hip, the other holding a laminated piece of paper in her hand. He took it from her, and moved around to her desk, opening drawers in an attempt to find a roll of cellotape.

"Jacob, what are you-" She stood beside him, watching as he ripped the tape from the roll with his teeth and secured the edges of the plastic to the surface of her desk. Once he had finished, he rubbed his hands together and looked at her.

"What do you think?"

"It's not staying there."

"Aw, why not? Come on, sweet cheeks. I think it would do the trick." At this, she raised an eyebrow, and he shifted slightly to bring an arm around her waist and pull her into his side. He then trailed a finger along the plastic sign, which read:

 _Failure to keep this office tidy will result in disciplinary action from the Queen Bee herself._

It also featured a drawing of a bee complete with a crown, firing lightning bolts over the staff of the ED who, she had to admit, Jacob had made very much recognisable.

"You don't appreciate my efforts?" She looked up at him, attempting to mask her smile but eventually giving in, reaching up to press her mouth to his. He then brought two hands to her waist, turning her to face him as he pushed his tongue past her lips, her arms wrapping around his neck as he pulled her to arch against him. They quickly separated at the sound of a knock at the door, despite knowing that whoever was there would have seen them quite clearly through either the open blinds or glass panelling of the door.

"Only me." Charlie entered, bringing a stack of forms with him, which he placed just above the sign on her desk. He bent his head around to read it, and Connie rolled her eyes at his expression when he brought his head back up. "I must say, Jacob, you're quite the artist."

"I thought so too, but this one didn't."

"I never said-" Connie started, but in vain.

"It was implied." He gave a mock sigh, and she hit him on the arm, before turning her attention to Charlie.

"We're just leaving now, Charlie. Is all this..."

"Not you. It's for Dr Gardner, you go home and have a good evening." He winked at the couple before leaving, and Connie moved across the room to gather her coat and bag from the stand. She then turned back to the desk, and took Jacob's hand from where he had begun to unpick the tape.

"Oh, stop it. I'll take it off when I'm next in. You did quite a good drawing of _her_ , we can't deprive her of seeing that."


	18. Chapter 18

"Seriously?"

"Mhm." She brought her head up slightly to reach his lips, and his hand slipped between them to touch his fingers to the space between her jaw and her neck.

"I don't believe you."

"Why not?"

"I didn't have you down as the walking type." He looked at her, at how her eyebrows raised in response.

"Type?"

"Well yeah. Mud, bugs, rain-"

"Not very Beauchamp-esque?"

"Exactly. You can't blame me for being surprised." She kissed him again, before pulling away and nuzzling into his side, his arm draped across the duvet about her waist.

"So where are we going?"

"There's a nice place down by the lake, where I found that man with the anaphylaxis that time."

"Well can we avoid him today, because I don't fancy seeing the ED a day earlier than necessary."

"I'll try my best." He grinned, kissing her head before rolling slowly out of the bed and shrugging on a shirt. He then moved to the door to pass her gown to her, before jogging quickly down the stairs to make them breakfast.

...

It was now mid-afternoon, and they had walked two miles before reaching a particularly narrow, thistle bordered path.

"You go in front." He motioned for her to step before him, watching her with a smile as she twisted her way through the plants, raising her arms every so often to avoid the tree branches. She came to a sudden stop, and in his admiring of her from behind he practically tumbled into her. "Woah sweet cheeks, some warning please!"

"Sorry, I just..." She trailed off, reaching her hands to touch the flowers of the hawthorn tree that hanged to her left.

"Don't tell me you're some secret nature buff..." He was met with a stony glare, which quickly fell and was replaced with a smile as his hand snuck around her waist.

"Hardly."

"Well then...?"

She sighed, letting her fingers work their way around a section of flowers, before turning her head to Jacob, unable to voice her thoughts. One May afternoon, years ago, she had walked down the aisle with the man she believed she was in love with, holding a bouquet of pale pink roses, when she had wanted hawthorn flowers. He had been quick to dismiss her preferences, and had instead instructed his mother to oversee the plans. Really, she thought, that should have been an indicator of how things would then pan out.

He stroked her back gently, noticing how she seemed to shrink slightly, and was no longer so relaxed and carefree as she had been moments ago.

"Con, what is it?"

"It doesn't matter. Can we just keep going?"

He was puzzled. He had never seen that look pass across her face, so wistful and so troubled. Her sudden dismissal was obvious to him, he knew that there was something there which she did, perhaps, want to talk about but either could not bring herself to say the words, or did not want to retreat back to the place where the flowers had taken her to. Instead of pushing her, he took her hand and trailed the other to the side of him in order to pick a section of flowers from the tree, leading her along the path, stroking her fingers gently as she remained quiet beside him.


	19. Chapter 19

They passed through a section of shaded woodland before reaching a vast, grassy space, which after a while of walking through led to a shallow river.

"Shall we sit here for a bit?" He squeezed her hand in his and she nodded, resting her head against his shoulder as they sat, the only noise being the sound of water trickling over pebbles and the occasional gust of breeze.

"Jacob..." She didn't move, but shut her eyes momentarily.

"May-flower." He brought the flowers he had picked in front of him, gently smoothing out the petals before turning to look at her, her head pulling away from his body to watch him.

"Hm?"

"My mum would always say it's lovely for a spring wedding."

She looked at him then with an expression which he had only ever seen once before. It was a mixture of surprise, relief, and something else he could not name apart from it being simply her. He had seen it when they stood outside the ED at Christmas, after he had told her that he would rather spend the day on shift with her than with his friends. She didn't say anything, but dipped her head slightly so that her hair fell down in front of her face. He pushed it back behind her ear, and lowered his head to kiss the side of hers, before gently passing the flowers into her hands.

"I don't understand..." She whispered, rolling the flowers gently around in her fingertips. "How is it you can get it all right?"

"Well, that's not-"

"No, it is." She turned her eyes to his before looking back down.

"I'll remember you said that, when I get it all wrong." He nudged her gently, before trailing his fingers underneath her chin and turning it to look at him. He pressed his lips to hers, the flowers dropping from her hands and onto the floor by her side as she turned to sit across him, her hands wrapping loosely around his neck. She pulled back slightly, her forehead resting against his.

"I thought so too." She spoke softly, slightly breathless.

"What was that?"

"Spring flowers."

"Spring _wedding_ flowers." He looked into her eyes, watching as her mouth twitched nervously.

"They were what I wanted, when I..." She lowered her head down and he caught her arms, coaxing her back towards him despite her reluctance.

"You can say it, Con. It's not like I haven't noticed you're _Mrs_ Beauchamp." This received a smile on her part, and he laughed softly, brushing his fingers through her fringe before settling them around the small of her back as she sat, pressed against him. "So, they were what you wanted and the idiot didn't-"

"Something like that."

He kissed her again gently, pulling back when he tasted salt, which when he looked at her face he could see came from the stray droplets which traced the skin of her cheeks, down to the corners of her mouth.

"I'm sorry..." She trailed off, quickly brushing them away with her fingers, before he took hold of her hands and caressed her face with his own.

"Hey, ssh. It's one less thing for us to worry about, then." At this, it was her turn to look confused.

"I don't-"

"Only if you ever wanted to, of course."

He grinned as her expression of confusion turned to one of surprise, to then unreadable as she brought her face to his and kissed him.

He took that to mean that at least she wasn't completely opposed to the idea.


	20. Chapter 20

"You. Are. Adorable." He spoke softly in between laughing and between kisses, she tasted of wine and of something else he couldn't quite name, either down to the alcohol or simply because it didn't have one. It was just her, and he loved it.

"Don't say... I'm NOT, I'm not adorable..."

"Yeah, yeah you are. Connie Beauchamp can barely string a sentence together and it's cute." He grinned as her lips fumbled against his, protesting but never quite making a single comprehensible argument. "Don't worry, I won't tell anyone..." Her head tilted back as he pressed his lips to her neck, before he felt her fingers at his chin, drawing his lips back to hers. He groaned, pushing them backwards until the backs of his knees hit the sofa and he brought them down onto it.

"I think...I think I'm-"

"Mmm, a bit drunk perhaps?"

They had arrived home late that evening, having spent a while longer than anticipated by the river before turning back. He had then insisted he would cook dinner, she had opened a bottle of wine which now sat empty on the kitchen table, beside another which was pretty much empty. His reminding of her that they had to be in work tomorrow was blatantly ignored, and he only hoped that he would be able to mask his hangover as well as she seemed to believe she would be able to mask hers.

She didn't respond intelligibly, but fastened her arms around his neck pressed herself closer to him. She sighed in frustration as he pulled back from her, scrunching the fabric of his top in her fingers, and he held her at length as he tried to suppress the grin that this situation forced upon him.

"I was assured that there would be singing and so far I must say I am disappointed, sweet cheeks."

"What?"

"You said-"

"Oh, I don't remember." She waved her hand dismissively and he took hold of her waist, pulling her tightly against him.

"So there's no chance-"

She shook her head in response, before looking at him properly and tilting her head to get his full attention.

"I'm not _that_ drunk." She bit at her lip and closed her eyes momentarily as her head began to swim. He brought his hands to the small of her back as he noticed how her body seemed to slacken, unable to refrain from grinning at the transformed woman in front of him.

"Lord help us all when you are."


	21. Chapter 21

He looked down at himself, to where she pointed and stated that his uniform was on back to front. Meanwhile, she stood in the doorway to the staffroom, looking as put together and beautiful as she always did. You would simply never believe him if he were to recount her manner of the night before.

"I genuinely don't understand how..." He trailed off, gesturing at her as he leant into the body of the locker, defeated.

"How what, Muscles?"

"You." He offered simply. She smiled slightly, before moving further into the room and closing the door behind her. She put her hands to the hem of his top, her fingers tickling his chest as she lifted it, her feet slipping from her heels as she rose to reach his arms. He helped her, before shrugging it on to the floor and placing his arms around her waist. They sprung apart suddenly as the door handle turned and Robyn walked in, her mouth open, watching awkwardly as she quickly turned and walked back towards reception to the ladies'.

"Right boss, when Rita finds me later and complains about how I can't use the staff room for sexual antics when her nurses need to change-"

"I'll take the blame."

He leant down and kissed her, before bending to pick up his top and shrugging it back on the right way. She tried to supress her smile as she looked out of the door, where she could see a large group of blue uniforms gathering, red hair bobbing up and down in earnest at the centre. "Looks like you're up for a fun shift." She bit her lip as he rolled his eyes at her comment, before opening his locker and placing his bag and jacket inside.

"N-uh, don't you..." He tried to push her back as she eyed the locker door, noticing the collage of photos he had stuck on the inside of it. Her eyes were immediately drawn to the four in the centre, of her and him. She turned to look at him, smiling as she noticed his panicked expression.

"Why are you looking at me like that?"

"Well I... Everyone's seen them. I didn't think you'd-" His words were interrupted as she placed a finger to his lips, an eyebrow raised.

"You're ashamed of having photos of your girlfriend in your locker?"

"No, no that's not what I meant."

"Oh?"

"I just didn't think you'd want... Oh, I don't know-"

"Jacob, stop wittering."

"I'm not..." Again, she raised an eyebrow and stuck her tongue into her cheek. "Will you stop looking at me like that? All questioning and sexy and beautiful, I'm too tired. And you know, it isn't fair, because you had far more than I did last night; you were a mess, albeit a very lovely mess but a definite mess all the same. And look at you! You're fine. More than fine, you're like you and perfect and I... I can't even get dressed." She watched him as he spoke, her mouth twitching and her hands desperate to pull him to her. She restrained herself, instead she folded her arms across her chest and waited for him to finish.

"I'm now very interested to hear your definition of 'wittering' if that wasn't it."

He sighed, closing the locker door before walking past her to open the door, groaning as his head seemed to take a few seconds to catch up with his body. "You're something else, I swear. Not human."

She grinned, not a sway in her ankles as she walked over to him and tapped a finger to his nose on her way out. "Rude."


	22. Chapter 22

"You're quiet today."

"Ssh." Jacob raised his hand to silence Cal, who had appeared suddenly next to him at the nurses' station.

"Did you go out last night?"

Jacob shook his head in response, trying to focus on the patient notes in front of him.

"You were together?" Cal nodded over to wear Connie stood a few metres away talking quietly to Ethan, but her facial expressions giving away every sign to suggest that she was not particularly happy.

"Yeah." He looked at Cal who was still gazing in her direction, before tapping him on the shoulder to direct his attention away from her.

"Sorry, mate. She's just..." He trailed off, clearing his throat and moving swiftly away.

"Yeah, I know." Jacob muttered under his breath, looking over to her as she met his eyes briefly and smirked in his direction before walking away. He rolled his eyes and swept the file from the desk, heading towards cubicles.

...

"Right, let go now or I will get security."

"Aw darlin', don't be like that..."

She struggled to pull the man's grip from her wrist, debating whether or not to call out or try and deal with this on her own. The curtains were closed, Ethan had described the patient as being 'difficult' and she had reluctantly agreed to take over, regretting it instantly. He was violently drunk, and her stomach had turned as soon as she had walked in, at how his eyes roamed over her and watched her incessantly.

"I am being just like that. Let. Go. Now."

He released her, but only momentarily as she turned and he caught her sleeve, pulling her towards the bed and holding both of her forearms. He was strong, much stronger than she was, and despite how much she tried to hide her fear, he could see it.

"I'm not going to hurt you..."

"You're disgusting." She whispered, her teeth gritted and her entire body tensed.

"Such a pretty one-"

"Stop..."

"I'm complimenting you, don't be rude..."

She shut her eyes, before leaning back to ascertain whether she was close enough to push the tray with the scissors and scalpels off of the trolley, if needs be. She let out a shaky breath as she felt nothing behind her but air, which was in one way a comfort because at least it wasn't on his side. It was pushed right against the back wall, a good metre from the bed, and with a laceration that severely infected to his leg, she doubted highly that he would be able to make it that far.

"Come here..."

She pulled back against him, not wanting to shout out in fear of what he would do in the seconds before anyone came. He started coughing, and she took this opportunity to turn her foot on it's side, wincing as her ankle twisted. She slipped off her shoe and pushed it smoothly across the floor and out under the curtain. She closed her eyes again and tried to steady her breathing, before opening them and looking at him. He laughed quietly, slipping one of his hands from her arm and to her cheek as she turned her head sharply to the side. She heard a curtain pull open further down the corridor, and hoped desperately that someone would see the Louboutin on the floor and immediately jump to a fairly obvious conclusion.

"Mrs Beauchamp?" She heard Cal, and turned her head frantically further from the man opposite her, who turned it back sharply.

"Don't you dare..." His face was so close to hers, and as she swallowed his grip on her arm tightened, and his other fingers trailed to the hollow of her throat.

"Mrs Beauchamp?!" He turned around, his hand on the curtain of the cubicle he was about to leave. "Mate, Connie would notice even if she was hung-over if she was missing a shoe, right?" Jacob apologised to the patient whose wound he was dressing, and came to stand next to Cal.

"Of course she'd bloody notice. Unlike me, she's not impersonating the walking dead."

Jacob looked to where he pointed, pausing in confusion before rushing quickly down the corridor, Cal following behind. She heard them, and she looked at the man whose fingers were now trailing down her blouse. He glanced up at her, and she stood effectively paralysed in shock, and fear. She didn't move even when the curtain whirled open, only when she felt strong, safe arms at her waist and Jacob's head over her shoulder. She tripped backwards into him, her other shoe scuttering under the bed on top of which Cal was now pinning down the man who had been holding her.

"Con, Connie it's okay. You're okay, you're okay... You're okay." He held her back from the bed as the man's arms flailed, and she shut her eyes tightly as she heard Jacob shout loudly for help. Her breath was trapped in her throat, and her arms felt heavy; she could feel his fingerprints burning at her wrists and on the underneath of her arms. She became aware of Jacob's fingers at her collarbone, where he quickly and wordlessly fastened the two buttons that were undone. Cal watched, his eyes widening in realisation at what had happened, and he shouted again for security.

"Jacob, get her out of here."


	23. Chapter 23

"Dr Knight, I don't need you to-"

"Connie, stop it. Let us worry, let us make sure you're okay." Jacob spoke softly, and guided her out of the cubicle quickly and into her office, ignoring the enquiring looks of other nurses and doctors who immediately made their way to where they had just come from. He shut the door and let his arms fall away from her, so she could decide what she wanted to do. She stood, seemingly frozen in the centre of the room and he sat down in front of her on the sofa, taking her hands gently in his. He rolled the sleeves of her blouse up to her elbows, brushing his fingers gently to the angry purple marks that had been left on her wrists.

"Your arms?"

She nodded, before turning to look out of the door, and then at her bare feet.

"How long was he-"

"About five minutes, maybe." She said softly, her voice strong despite the evident tremble in her body which he could feel through her hands.

"If Cal hadn't, if he hadn't seen your shoe..." He looked up at her, willing her to bring her head up to look at him.

"I would have called, but I couldn't... He was so close..."

"I know." He stroked her fingers gently and she looked up, exhaling deeply and sitting next to him. She made no move to lean in, she just sat rigid, staring forwards. "Connie..."

"I'm a woman and an ED doctor, it's not the first time." She said this, and he immediately felt his stomach turn.

"That's not..." He didn't know what to say, and she filled in for him.

"It's not how it should be. It's not an excuse. Yet it still happens, Jacob."

"You mean-"

"No." She looked at him, brushing her fringe from her eyes before staring straight forward again. "But I have always been able to get them off before... Before..." She looked down at her feet again, her fingers going to the top of her blouse. She closed her eyes, willing herself not to cry until she was on her own. He didn't say anything, but put one hand on her knee. She made no move to pull it away; after a few seconds she turned her head back to him and he put both arms around her, holding her tightly to his side. He planted a kiss in her hair and stroked her back, continuing to do so when he heard a soft knock at the door. It opened, and Connie felt Jacob's head nod above her own.

"I'll just put these here?" Cal gently placed Connie's shoes against the bottom of the sofa, and before she could murmur a thank-you he left, shutting the door behind him. She took another deep breath before extricating herself from Jacob's arms, and rolled down her sleeves, tucking them over at the wrists and adjusting her watch.

"Right. I'll um, go and talk to... Whoever wants to speak to me, and then I'll be in here." As she stood up and slipped her feet back into her heels, he gently eased himself from the sofa and opened her office door.

"If you need anything..."

"You're here, I know. And thank you..." She placed a quick kiss to his lips before leaving, and Jacob watched her as she clicked quickly to the nurses' station, as if absolutely nothing had happened.


	24. Chapter 24

Over the last half hour, she'd had three calls from Hanssen, presumably to arrange some sort of meeting to discuss 'the incident', but she had ignored all of them. When her phone next rang, she was in the office and on seeing that it wasn't Hanssen calling, she picked up.

"Hello?"

"Connie! It's Dr Gardner, Elle... Er, Hanssen told me about-"

"I don't doubt that he did. Is there a problem?"

"I just... Well, if you wanted the rest of the shift off then I can be there in half an hour."

"Thank you, but that won't be necessary."

"Connie..."

"Is that everything?"

There was a pause before she heard the other doctor sigh, defeated.

"Yes."

"Good. I'll see you tomorrow evening."

She stopped the call and placed her phone back on the desk. She picked it up again seconds later and added the number Elle had called her on to her contacts list. There was a soft knock at the door and she looked up to see Jacob, carrying coffees and a brown paper bag.

"Have you got a few minutes?"

She nodded in response, standing up to move to the sofa but was surprised when her put a hand on her shoulder and stopped her.

"Keys?"

"Jacob, what...?"

"Car keys?" He looked to where they lay on her desk, and she slowly reached behind her to take them, confused. He then steered her out of the room but continued walking when she stopped outside of the office.

"Where are we going?"

He turned around at the sound of her voice, waving the coffees and bag in front of him. Eventually, she moved quickly to follow him out of the ED, to where he was standing beside her car.

"Car picnic!"

"And the office wouldn't do because...?"

"Possibility of an interruption... You spend too much time in there..." He paused for a moment, smiling before continuing. "You have a nice car."

She rolled her eyes and clicked the button on her keys, allowing him to open the passenger door for her before he moved around to the driver's side.

"Here." He passed the brown bag to her and she tentatively opened it, before looking at him and smiling. This then made him smile, because it was such a small gesture on his part yet it seemed to make such a difference.

"How did you-"

"You can't fool me, Queen Bee. I've seen you, you don't just live off the odd sandwich and orange unlike what most people think." At this, her smile widened more before she bit her lip and looked downwards, her hair falling in front of her face. She took a brownie from the bag before passing it to Jacob who took one, turning to face her with his back to the window, coffee in one hand and brownie in the other.

"These are my favourites."

"Mm, I did notice. The bin under your desk has too. Extensively."

"Be quiet." At this, he laughed, watching as she broke it apart in her fingers methodically.

"Everyone needs a stress snack, sweet cheeks."

"Yes, and I'll give you a stressed slap in a minute, _Muscles._ "

He rolled his eyes, and took a sip of his coffee as he noticed that as she ate, the fingermarks on her arms became visible as her blouse sleeves slipped. They were angrier than when he saw them before, and he lowered his drink as he thought back to what had happened. Even though she was unlikely to admit it right now, right when she was carrying on as though nothing had happened, she had been alone in there and scared. That wasn't something she was going to be able to simply pretend didn't affect her, because he knew her. He knew she was still scared, because she wasn't pushing him away. She trusted him to work it out for himself without making it worse, without her needing to say anything.

"How are you feeling?" His thoughts were interrupted when she spoke, having noticed his head lower and his quietness all of a sudden.

"Me?"

"Yes, you."

"A bit more awake now, to be honest." He smiled at her and gently touched a finger to her lip, brushing a stray crumb away. He passed her coffee to her, smiling at her quiet thank-you, and took a quick glance over the bonnet of the car to see the entrance to the ED, thankfully not too chaotic. "I was going to take another shift so that I'm here when you finish." He turned back to her and restrained himself from tracing his fingers across her thigh, uncertain of whether this would be welcome.

"No, don't. I'm going to ask Elle to come in."

"Really?"

"Mm." She exhaled slowly before continuing, her fingers trailing around the lid of her coffee cup. "I'm going to go upstairs quickly, and then I'll sort it."

"Thank you." He spoke quietly, and before she had time to ask him why he had said it, he leant across to kiss her, before gathering the bag and his cup and sighing. "I'd best get back in."

"I'll be there in a minute." She stretched her hand touch is forearm, and he pressed another kiss to her lips before getting out of the car. She watched him through the window until he disappeared inside, feeling considerably less unnerved and stressed compared to how she had felt before he had taken her outside. He hadn't mentioned anything about what had happened earlier, but he had known that she wasn't okay, and had dealt with it exactly how he knew she wanted him to. He had taken her mind off it, but had reassured her and thanked her for making what she knew was the right decision. She sighed again, before getting out of the car, locking it, and making her way into the hospital.

"Noel?" She went straight to reception, intending for him to call Elle and let her know that she would be needed; as soon as she was finished with Hanssen she was going home.

"Yep?" He didn't look up from the desk until he processed who was speaking to him. "Sorry, Mrs Beauchamp-"

"Could you please call Dr Gardner and let her know that I would like her here within the hour. And tell her thank you."


	25. Chapter 25

"Come upstairs?" He appeared in the doorway of the living room, and she quickly brought her head up from where it was resting on her knees. She looked at him and he smiled encouragingly, extending a hand to then help her and guide her up the stairs. He stopped outside of the bathroom, inside of which was a warm, bubbly bath and a cup of tea.

"When... Jacob, when did you...?"

"You fell asleep for a bit." He smiled at her, and she put an arm around his middle, closing her eyes as he pressed a kiss to her head.

"Thank you."

"You don't need to thank me. I'll give you some time, just shout if there's anything you want. Loudly." She gave a small laugh, turning around quickly before she shut the bathroom door.

"Would you mind staying?" She touched her fingers to his arm, and looked up at him before continuing. "Just outside. I don't, I'm just..." She then looked down, her fingers twitching nervously at her sleeves. She didn't want to be on her own.

"Of course. I'll go get my drink, and then I'll be right outside the door."

"Thank you." She whispered, before letting go of his hand and watching as he jogged quickly down the stairs. Minutes later, he was sat with his back and head against the bathroom door, whilst she let her head rest against the cool enamel of the bath, her hands trailing patterns in the mass of bubbles that covered her. She could feel her body trembling slightly, and she tried to take long steady breaths to counter it, however instead they caught in her throat and shuddered as they were let out. She closed her eyes but still, she could see his face. She shuddered again and her hand reached out, hitting the side of the bath as she tried to steady herself.

"Connie?" He turned his head against the door, straining to hear her answer.

"I'm fine." She replied quietly, struggling to hold back the tears that were stinging in her eyes. "I'm fine." She whispered this time to herself, willing her body to recognise that she was okay. She wasn't hurt, not really. She was safe, at home and with Jacob. Slowly, she turned her arms over to see where the red and purple marks bloomed over her skin, and she lightly traced her fingers across them before pressing harder, wincing as the pain first came suddenly and then ebbed and ached until it became numb. As she shut her eyes tightly, tears squeezed out from underneath her lashes, and she could do nothing to supress the choked sob that came from her throat.

"Connie..."

"Don't, don't come in."

He had stood up, his hand placed on the door handle, longing to take her away from all of the things that were hurting her.

"I don't, I don't want you to come in." She repeated, her arms clasped tightly around her, her knees curled up to her shoulders. He resisted the urge to turn the handle, he instead slid back down the door, his hands clasped between his legs.

"Will you talk to me, then?" He looked upwards as he spoke, before turning around and pressing his ear to the door. She thought of all the things she wanted to say, and then of the door that acted as a sort of barrier between them. She had spent her life building up barriers, purposefully to keep herself secure and in control. But maybe now it was a good thing because if she couldn't see him, the talking would be easier. She had control, she couldn't see his reaction, she wouldn't stop as soon as he held her to him and told her it would be okay.

"You make things harder to run away from."

He waited for her, seeing if she would continue.

"A bomb was detonated at a dinner, years ago, because of me. I've been face to face with a madman and a gun in a foreign capital... I watched you get shot. The list goes on, but, but today I was so... Scared, Jacob... I can't just let it go." She spoke hurriedly, rushed in between sobs, partially muffled into her arms. "I should have, I should have been able to move or, or shout but it wouldn't happen." She blinked, looking upwards as she tried desperately to stop crying. "I couldn't do it, I shouldn't have needed you but I just wanted you there, I wanted you there with me and you weren't, I wanted you to stop him-"

His arms were around her before the door had even swung into the side of the cabinet that stood in the corner."I've got you." He breathed into her hair, the ends of which clung to her shoulders and her back in damp curls. He cradled her head as he knelt down on the bath mat, her fingers clawing until they gripped the fabric at his chest as she broke, her deep, wrenching sobs the only sounds to be heard in the house.


	26. Chapter 26

She had woken up three or four times that night, but each time he had managed to soothe her to a point where she would drift off again. He would spend minutes watching her, until her eyelids flickered shut and then stayed there, before settling his arm around her and falling into sleep again himself. That morning, he woke to find her absent from the bed, and he quickly got up to shrug on a top before jogging down the stairs. He walked into the kitchen and stopped in the doorway on seeing her standing, looking out of the window by the sink. She wore a loose, light blue cotton shirt of his, which trailed to the back of her thighs, swamping her small frame. She seemed completely unaware of anything but of what she was thinking, just staring out into the garden which she hardly ever went out into anymore.

"Morning, sweet cheeks." He spoke softly, not wanting to make her jump. Still facing away from him, she closed her eyes for a second before turning around, a small, sad smile edging it's way across her lips.

"Morning..." She looked at him, thinking back to how he had held her last night. He moved forward, taking her hands and swinging them gently as he tried to relax her, to bring her back into current time and place.

"I have an idea."

She raised her eyebrow in response, and he felt his own smile become more genuine as a trace of the usual Connie flickered through. "How about, you sit right there..." He pointed to the island that stood in the middle of the kitchen and waited for her to move. When she didn't, he rolled his eyes and simply picked her up, grinning as she hit him whilst giggling as he sat her down on the surface. "Then..." He waltzed over to a cupboard and pulled out a packet of croissants, earning another small smile from her. "I will make us breakfast."

She watched as he cut the packet and placed the pastries on a tray, to be put into the oven. He then came to stand in front of her, and she didn't hesitate to wrap her arms around his neck and pull him closer, so that she could wrap her legs about his middle. They kissed, his hands entwining in her wispy hair until they were interrupted by the beeping of the oven. He pulled away, groaning as he reluctantly extricated her legs from him, and she waited as he emptied the croissants into a basket and placed it next to her. She laughed as he then began to whistle, collecting a variety of jams from the fridge and placing those down next to her, before returning with two plates and some knives.

"Table?" She asked, tilting her head in it's direction.

"Overrated. I promise I'll clear the crumbs." He winked at her, pulling off a piece of croissant and inserting it into her mouth just as she began to form a retort. He grinned as she sighed, rocking back on her hands as she watched him spread jam on his own croissant, the crumbs flaking as far from the plate as it was possible for him to manage from where he stood.

"It's almost as if you deliberately want to annoy me."

"You make it so easy."

"That doesn't mean-"

"And it's extremely fun. Plus, after you've finished being annoyed with me we usually end up-"

"Ssh." She peeled off another piece of croissant and this time placed it in his mouth. She brought her face close to his, tilting her head to look directly into his eyes. "You know, I do love you. A lot. But you don't half do my head in."

He swallowed, chuckling as he wrapped an arm around her waist, ignoring her protests as he spread crumbs further over the island. To some people, someone like her would be a nightmare. She had so much fire, so much attitude. But that was how he knew she was okay. When that became absent from her for a long time, that was when he would worry. Or when it became something else, not just a bitter side remark or an angry outburst, but a deliberate harsh action that was an attempt to stop others from seeing her at her worst. But for him, there was nothing in her that he would change, because he would always love her as much or even more so at her worst, as at her best.


	27. Chapter 27

It was now nearing nine-thirty that evening, and she was getting ready for the long night ahead. As much as she didn't particularly want to, she was working the night shift, and after taking time off yesterday she didn't feel as though it was fair to ask Elle to cover for her again. Part of her also didn't want to feel like she owed the woman more than she already did. She finished brushing her fringe into place, and then took her concealer from the make up bag on her vanity surface, and gently dabbed it over the marks on her wrists, which wouldn't even be completely covered by her watch on her left hand. Once she had finished, she took a glance in the mirror before standing up and turning to see her full-length self where something niggled at her; she didn't feel comfortable. She walked back over to her wardrobe, deciding that she would switch her usual favourite black dress for her white blouse and trousers instead. Halfway to pulling out the hanger, she turned around on hearing him come into the room.

"Do you want me to make you a coffee before you go?"

"Please." She gave him a small smile before turning back to the wardrobe and taking out the chosen change of clothes.

"What are you doing?" He moved over to her, placing one hand on the rail in the wardrobe as he stood next to her, watching her profile as she lowered her head and bit at her bottom lip.

"Changing."

"You look beautiful."

She brought her head up to look at him, her mouth twitching but saying nothing. She took the hangers and laid the clothes down on her bed, before placing her hands on her hips and eyeing him as he made no move away from the wardrobe.

"You don't need to watch."

"What's wrong with your dress?"

"I don't want to wear it."

"But you put it on-"

"I changed my mind." She ran her tongue along her bottom lip, her nervous gesture. One which he didn't miss. "Can you let me change, please." She raised her eyebrows at him, and with a reluctant sigh he left, glancing backwards when he reached the stairs to see her sat on the bed, staring straight forward like she had done when he had come downstairs that morning.

Minutes later she appeared in the hallway, clothes changed, her shoes clattering softly as she placed them by the door. She then walked through to the kitchen where he was stirring coffee in her mug, which she gratefully accepted.

"I'm sorry I snapped."

He blinked, surprised by her apology over something she would never normally apologise for.

"Connie, it's fine-"

"It's not."

"It is. You do it all the time, I'm pretty thick skinned." He smiled at her, but her face only fell. "Oh Connie, I didn't mean-"

"No, you're right. And I'm sorry." She took a quick sip of her coffee before placing the mug back on the side, allowing him to catch her arms before they fell to her sides. She looked up at him, and saw the concern and worry that lined his face.

"You don't need to apologise, sweet cheeks." He slid his hands into hers, squeezing her fingers as she shook her head.

"I do. I shouldn't have said it."

"It's okay, Con." He pressed a kiss to her forehead, and she let her head rest against his chest for a moment before standing a little straighter.

"I love you."

"I love you too." He smiled a small, confused smile, and she kissed him gently before stealing a glance at the clock, quickly releasing her hold on him to gather her keys from the side and enter the hallway. As she slipped on her shoes she heard him call her name, but instead of responding she took her bag and opened the front door, getting into her car just as he came out onto the driveway. She drove away, and he returned back into the house, closing the door behind him and going to the kitchen where her mug lay on the side, full and forgotten.


	28. Chapter 28

She walked into her office half an hour later, quickly shutting the door and going to sit at her desk. For once, it was relatively clear and there wasn't a stray cigarette in sight. Lines of scrawled writing on the first post-it note on the block caught her eye, and she sighed as she unpeeled it.

 _Anything you need, just call._

 _E._

She gave a small smile before scrunching up the paper and discarding it, settling into her chair and switching on the computer. She folded her hands under her chin, linked her fingers and waited for the inevitable interruptions that would occur once the machine had finally turned on.

...

"Connie."

"Not now, Charlie." She waved her hand at him as she walked briskly to the nurses' station, sighing as she heard him following behind her. "Is it urgent?"

"Connie, just let me-"

"Then it can wait. Please." She added, before gathering her stethoscope from where it rested on a pile of files and heading into resus. So far this shift she had managed to avoid cubicles, a semi-conscious decision that she was unsure as to whether she could deny making. She didn't feel scared as such, just unsettled, and that was perhaps a worse feeling. It followed her persistently, whilst terror was something that was heightened at one point and was visible to others. She felt uneasy in herself, and the task of masking that was becoming increasingly difficult. She felt her ankle jerk as she walked quickly through the doors, and just as she reached a hand out to press into the door, she felt someone catch her elbow. She turned sharply and pushed them away before looking up to see Iain, watching her in concern as he asked Jez to take the trolley out.

"Mrs Beauchamp, I'm sorry, I-"

"No, no. Thank you." She gave a small nod as she straightened the cuffs of her blouse, before turning and walking to the bed where there was a small crowd of uniforms. Iain waited a second, catching her eye as she looked up from the head of the patient before leaving, and making his way to the staff room. He wanted to speak to Jacob, to ask if she was okay. He didn't think she would appreciate his asking, she wasn't Rita. She was very different, but Jacob would know what to do, and say. He opened the door, sighing as he realised Jacob probably wasn't in otherwise by now he was sure he would have seen him. Instead, he saw Charlie sitting in the corner, who looked up quickly on hearing him enter.

"Iain? Everything okay?"

"Yeah, sorry Charlie. I was looking for Jacob."

"He's not in until the morning. Can I do anything?"

"No, it's just... I wanted to make sure everything was okay with Connie. Rita's been through a lot recently, I would talk to her myself but it's not my place, I don't think she'd..." He trailed off, he knew what he meant and he suspected that Charlie did too. He cared, he knew Jacob would be supporting her but he wanted to show her that others cared too.

"Iain, has something happened?" Charlie had to admit that he was surprised, Iain and Connie were hardly friends. He hadn't expected the paramedic to show such concern. Iain sighed again, taking a seat opposite Charlie, clasping his hands in front of him and lowering his head, looking to the side to check the door before beginning to speak.

"Just something in resus. No one would blame her for being shaken up, Charlie, it's just the way she looked at me-"

"When?"

"Just now. She tripped into the door, I put my hand out to catch her and it's like she was spooked. She nearly pushed me over, I mean she apologised afterwards and thanked me but her initial reaction... I just want to help if I can, after everything with Mark and Rita. I don't know, maybe they could talk-"

"What, Rita and Connie? Talk?" Charlie raised an eyebrow, it was a light remark made despite the worry that had begun to root itself inside him.

"Oh, I don't know." Iain looked up at Charlie, before easing himself back onto the sofa. "That's why I wanted to talk to Jacob. Just to make sure she's okay."

"You're a good man, Iain." He got up and clapped Iain's shoulder lightly before going to the door. "Have a quiet word to Jacob. See what he says. If you notice anything else this shift, find me. I wanted to talk to her anyway, but you know, that didn't happen as planned. The usual 'I'm fine, don't approach me' scenario."

"She's just pretending, Charlie."

"Yeah, I know. She knows that too." He gave a small smile at Iain before leaving, shutting the door behind him and heading to the nurses' station. He waited around, coming back from cubicles as often as he could to check her office, but it only remained empty for the next ten minutes, and then the next twenty, until nearly an hour had passed and she hadn't been seen once.


	29. Chapter 29

She was still in resus by the time her shift finished. There had barely been any ebb in the flow of patients being wheeled in, and there wasn't enough space in AAU to take those who could move from the department to allow others to use the beds. She left the room once she was certain her patient was stable enough to be taken to X-ray, handing over to Dylan and heading straight up the stairs, her focus entirely up and forwards until she reached the on-call room. She turned the handle, relieved when it gave and opened, and shut herself in on the other side. She inhaled deeply, shakily, before pressing a hand to her mouth to suppress a sob as her back slid down the door. She sat against the cold wood, shoulders heaving as tried to pull herself back together, exhausted. She could hear people as they walked past, some of whose footsteps she could see the shadow of underneath the door. Blowing out a long breath, and shaking her hair from her shoulders she stood up, adjusting her stethoscope and brushing a hand under her eyes as she turned the handle again, pressing both hands behind her as she shut it and looked out on the busy corridor.

"Connie?"

She visibly jumped as she heard her name, her head snapping to the side to see Charlie stood at the top of the stairs. He motioned for her to follow him downstairs, and she shook her head before clearing her throat.

"I'm going, now." She looked at him, and he could tell she had been crying. There was also no reason for her to be up here, coming out of the on-call room.

"Connie, please-"

"I'M FINE, CHARLIE." It wasn't quite a shout, but her raised voice attracted the attention of everybody on the corridor, which immediately fell silent as people stopped to look at her. She pushed past them, and past Charlie as she went down the stairs, straight down into the emergency department and through reception to her office. The door swung shut behind her, but opened again seconds later as Charlie came to stand in front of her desk, facing her as she stood with her arms tightly folded.

"Please don't push us out, Connie."

"I'm not pushing anyone out-"

"You're struggling. We just want to-"

"I am not struggling!" She walked around her desk to take her coat and bag from the stand. "Just let me get on with my job." She left the office, walking quickly out to her car, stopping as she saw Jacob standing in front of it, leaning against the bonnet.

"Jacob? Why-"

"I thought you'd be tired, so I'll drive us back."

She looked at him, her keys held in one hand and her other holding her back over her shoulder.

"I can drive."

"I know, but-" He stopped as she walked past him, opening the car door and putting the keys in the ignition. As she was fastening her belt he opened the other door and sat down, watching as she looked behind her before pulling out of the car park and turning out of the hospital. Her jaw was set and her fingers were tense on the steering wheel, she didn't say a word the whole way to the house. When they arrived and she stopped the car, she got out quickly and fumbled with the door keys. After a few seconds they were taken gently from her, the door opened, and she turned to look at him as he stood next to her on the front step.

"Come here." He opened his arms, allowing her to step forward and close the distance between them. He gathered her to his chest, his fingers stroking her hair as she exhaled, her bag sliding down to the floor as she reached her arms around his neck. "Bad shift?" He murmured, not the question he meant, but she knew that too.

"Not the best." She whispered, before drawing back, taking her bag and stepping into the house.


	30. Chapter 30

"You're beautiful, you know that?" He murmured quietly into her ear as he held her to him on the sofa, looking down at how she half sat, half laid against him. She closed her eyes and didn't respond, she was too tired and too caught up in her own head. She could feel the rise and fall of his chest against her shoulder, it comforted her yet it also made her throat feel pained and tight. Nobody had cared for her in the way that he did, and now when he was trying to help her and make her feel safe and loved, she could barely bring herself to look him in the eye. It went against everything she had ever taught herself, to never need another person to rely on for support because of the inevitable eventuality of them only proceeding to hurt you more. She had always been able to do a better job on her own. But Jacob... She opened her eyes, turning to look at him as he smiled slightly and pressed a kiss into her hair before easing himself from the sofa and taking her hand.

He led her up the stairs, leaving her at their room to the jog quickly back down to bring up her tea. He placed the mug down on a coaster on the table beside the bed, and took her gown from the hook on the door. She undressed and took it from him, and as her hands went to the ties she frowned when his hands covered hers and prised her fingers gently from the ribbon, his own replacing them and fastening the material, brushing the skin of her stomach lightly as he did so.

"Jacob, I..." She turned around to look up at him and as she faltered he guided her down onto the bed, sitting down next to her as she hugged the gown more tightly around her frame.

"Connie, I know this isn't easy-"

"I feel like I'm losing control." There was a silence, and he looked at her, unable to disguise the confusion and shock that her confession had earned from him. He had never heard her talk so succinctly about how she felt, especially when it was something he was certain she would never have admitted to him voluntarily.

"Control of what?" He spoke softly, watching how her toes twitched and her fingers gripped the sheets as she struggled within herself to speak.

"Myself."

"You're not-"

"Don't tell me that it isn't true, Jacob!" She turned to face him now, with a recognisable surety and assertion that had been missing from their conversations that evening. "I don't know what I'm doing, how I'm feeling, I don't understand, I don't know what I'm doing wrong."

"Connie, there is nothing-"

"There is! Jacob, this is not me." She gestured downwards at herself and then around her, feeling how she was slipping back into the familiar emotional state she had been in earlier that day. It was not somewhere she wanted to visit again tonight. "I need to go to sleep."

"Connie, please..." She dismissed his hand as he tried to pull her back to face him, sitting helplessly as she laid down to pull the covers about her, trying to stifle her heavy breathing and clear her head of the thoughts that seemed to churn and muddle relentlessly around her head.

...

"Connie for god's sake, you can't carry on like this." He shut the office door forcefully behind him and her head shot up, sheets of paper scattering down to the floor as her arm slipped across the desk.

"Get out."

"I'm sorry, what-"

"Jacob, get out."

He stayed firmly put, folding his arms as he tilted his head, intending to stay for as long as it took for her to confront the issues she clearly needed to face.

"I'm not going to ask you again."

"Con, I'm not going anywhere. You can shout as much as you like, it's not really going to solve any of this is it?"

"Stop it."

"Not until you talk to me. Properly. Because I know now this isn't just about-"

"I told you to leave." She was now sat back in her chair, her arms crossed, but despite the cold exterior he noticed how her lips trembled and her face paled; he wanted more than anything to comfort her as he had done more times recently than ever. But now something had snapped, and she was shutting him out, which he knew was the worst thing he could let her do.

"I'm not going to."

"Don't you dare-"

"Do what, Con? Care? Be worried? You're not okay, and I thought we were getting to a place where you would trust me to help you. Why can't you do that now?"

"Get o-"

"No! I am not letting you shut me out, you're obviously not managing-"

"OUT." He took a step back as her hands slammed down onto the desk, her chair hitting the bookcase as she stood up and faced him. He was shocked, and hurt, but not solely because of the way she was acting towards him but he was hurting for her too.

"Why are you so angry, Connie?" He spoke softly, watching how her eyes widened and flicked from his face to a spot over his shoulder and then back to his face again. She ground her knuckles into the desk, hooked her foot around the bottom of the chair and brought it back to the desk but didn't sit down. She rocked her weight back and forth on her hands until she brought her head back up sharply, her hair tossing over her back as she did so.

"Connie?"

"I don't want you in here."

"Seriously? Are we still going to-"

"I CAN'T DO THIS, JACOB." She pushed further onto her hands, her jaw set but her legs shaking, her stomach feeling empty and as though it were falling. He stepped forward, to touch his fingers to her hand but she moved backwards and around the chair to keep the distance between them.


	31. Chapter 31

Her fingers brushed gently across the spines of the books on the case behind her, and she closed her eyes momentarily, wishing they weren't doing this here. But then again, she felt oddly comfortable in this room. Perhaps more so than in her own home, it felt more secure and more protected. She could control what went on in here, it just seemed to come more naturally.

"I love you." It was a whisper, and an unexpected confession. She turned to look at him, her fingers still tracing across the wooden shelves. "I am in love with you, I have never in my life felt this way towards anyone." She paused, looking down at her feet and then back to him, his face perfectly patient and waiting. "But I shouldn't be. I shouldn't be in love with you."

"Why are you saying that?"

"Because it's true. It's the only thing..." She swallowed, turning with her back to the shelves so she leant against them, with her arms tucked behind her. "I don't want to put you through any more of this."

"Connie-"

"You held me that night in the bathroom, and I've never felt so safe in my life. God, I could fall apart any minute and I know you'd be there. But that's just it, Jacob, that woman isn't me and so I revert to being cut off and distant to stop you. It hurts me and it hurts you, but I don't know what else I can do." She cursed herself inwardly for the tears that were slipping down her cheeks. She had never been so emotional, he had opened something in her that she didn't think she had, and it made her vulnerable. "I can't give you anything back." She shook her head, and slipped her second finger under her eyes to brush away the tears and wet mascara.

"You give me everything."

"Jacob, don't, please-"

"You don't need me. But you chose this, Connie, and that is everything."

"I do need you." She whispered, looking up at him as he took a step forward, his hand resting on the desk between them. He extended his fingers, and she looked down at them, her mind racing.

"You can't always tell me how you feel, sometimes I have to try and work it out and sometimes we'll end up back here. I know you're scared, Con. But you can't shut me out, not now. I'm not going to let that happen."

She nodded almost imperceptibly. Of course she didn't really want him to go, at all. She wasn't entirely sure what she had done in order to have the fortune to be in love with this man, but she was. Out of the corner of her eye she saw his fingers wriggle, and tentatively she placed her hand in his, allowing him to pull her around the desk and into his arms. At his touch, she felt overcome with relief, and then guilt.

"Jacob, I didn't mean any of it, before-"

"I know."

"I'm sorry I shouted-"

"I know."

He dropped a kiss to her head, running his hands down her arms as he looked at her. "Right, you need a good coffee, I'll go and get one now. And then tonight, we're going to make dinner, proper dinner, because you need something in you that isn't wine, or breadsticks." He looked pointedly at the mini packets on her desk.

"Okay."

"And when I say we'll make dinner, I really mean I'll try and cook whilst you distract me."

"Oh, naturally."

"That's better." He smiled, hugging her close to him and placing his head over hers. "Macchiato?" He was sure he could feel her body relax as she smiled.

"Did you even need to ask?"


	32. Chapter 32

"S'time?" He heard her murmur next to him, and he let out a soft groan as he turned to look at the alarm clock on the bedside table.

"Twelve thirty one." He rolled back, smiling as his body touched hers, so he could feel how her chest still rose and fell similarly to his own.

"Mhm." She pulled the covers around her, wriggling slightly to settle next to him, his arm draped over her body. She then turned her head, wincing as she brought her fingers to her hair and struggled to run them through it.

"Ow. Elbows." He shifted as her elbow dug into his side, and she looked up at him to raise an eyebrow. "What's that for?"

"You're the one that puts the knots there."

"What?" He asked, confused until her expression clarified what she had said for him. He grinned, shifting back so he could take her hand away from her hair to replace it with his own. "Ah. Sorry."

"Mhm." She didn't turn her eyes from his until his hand wandered from her hair to her cheek, where they lowered as his fingers touched her chin. Her eyes then flicked upwards, and when a little smile edged it's way past her lips he bent his head to kiss her slowly, and as her mouth opened to kiss him back, her hand rose up to touch his jaw, cupping it gently as her kisses became deeper, giving herself to him entirely. His tongue met hers and once again she felt as though she had been set alight, everything was so warm and passionate, so loving and kind and honest. Her fingers moved gently across to his lips, where she closed a kiss and traced a line down the centre of them, both of them breathing quickly and just out of time with each other. His hand moved from under her chin to reach the back of her shoulder, holding her slightly above him, strands of her hair just touching the side of his face. As much as he tried not to ruin the moment, he could only hold out so long; the sensation was becoming more and more unbearable and the more he thought about it the more he thought he was going to laugh.

"You're tickling me." He murmured against her fingers, smiling against them as she lowered her head, her hair now trailing in the hollows under his neck. She turned her head slightly to look at him, her fingers skimming down from his lips to his chest, biting her bottom lip as he visibly tensed and blew air through his lips, her hair brushing across his skin and then falling back into place. She was teasing him, and he knew she could carry on relentlessly, she would carry on unless he intervened. He wrapped one arm tightly around her and rolled so she lay back down on the bed, her hair splayed about her head on the pillow, smiling at him as he tilted his head to look at her.

"I need to be up at four."

"Well then, there's very little point in-"

"No, Jacob, I need some sleep." She laughed at his expression of mock disappointment, which was soon followed by a wide smile as she pulled him down to her, allowing him to kiss her before she pushed him back onto his side of the bed.


	33. Chapter 33

"Hey."

"Hey, you. When did you get in?"

"About five minutes ago." He pressed a quick kiss to her cheek before turning around, hearing someone calling his name. He murmured an apology, his hand just skirting her waist as he walked back in the direction he had just come from. She watched as Cal led him into resus, chattering about Dylan needing them to assist on an emergency procedure. As the doors closed, she continued walking to the nurses' station, which was verging on chaotic. The board on the wall was highlighted in reds and yellows and she sighed, knowing that she needed to step out of the office and help the team.

"Mrs Beauchamp? Can you, I... I mean, sorry, are you-" Ethan appeared at her side, his arms full of patient notes and looking decidedly flustered.

"I'm coming." She spared the junior doctor his struggle and followed him out to the waiting area in reception. She took a deep breath, she hadn't been around in cubicles for days, having been hoping to herself that Jacob would be scheduled in to work them with her.

...

"Right, will you get onto the lab Jacob, I need those results back before we do anything. I don't want to risk it if there's an underlying problem here."

"Sure." Jacob nodded to Dylan, heading out of the doors and in the direction of the main stairs. He paused when he saw Connie standing in a corner by the reception desk, struggling under a large pile of files which she seemed to be sorting through methodically, glancing upwards and across every so often to the waiting area. He carried on, jogging quickly up the stairs but stopping to turn around at the top. He watched as she walked quickly to call an elderly female patient, holding the door to cubicles open for her and pausing for a brief second before following. It hit him then, how she had been expertly avoiding the problem for days and doing it in such a way that nobody doubted for one second that she was too busy to assist with anything other than the emergencies in resus. He walked quickly to the lab, doing as Dylan had asked before running quickly down the stairs to find Cal in resus, pulling him aside and out of Dyaln's earshot.

"Cal, I need a favour. You're going to have to get another nurse to cover for me."

"Wait, what? Jacob, this is an-"

"Opportunity, yeah, I know. But I've got to be somewhere else."

"I can't-"

"Yeah, you can. Don't make a big deal out of it, just get someone else in. Cheers, Cal." Offering no further explanation, if needs be the doctor could work it out for himself easily enough if he tried, he left resus and headed in the direction of cubicles. He paused for a moment outside of every closed curtain, listening carefully to hear her measured, clipped tone or dry laugh, or the occasional click of her heels.

"Okay, I will be back as soon as I've found a nurse to clean that, I won't be long." He smiled when he heard her, standing just to the side of the curtain that was drawn open just a moment later. He walked past her and into the cubicle, smiling at the elderly lady who laid on the bed, glancing back to see Connie standing just outside, her mouth slightly open.

"Staff Nurse Masters, what are you-"

"I'll ignore everything this one says from now on, if you do." He winked at the woman who smiled back, slightly confused, and then looked upwards at Connie who now stood inside the cubicle, the curtain closed once again, hands on her hips. He grinned, before turning back to the lady who had quickly and successfully assessed the dynamic of the situation. "And call me Jacob."

"Ellie." The woman smiled again, looking over Jacob's shoulder to see how the doctor had become visibly less tense, despite her glare and posture.

"Go back to resus, Jacob, there'll be someone else-"

"Nope, you've got me, sweet cheeks."

"But-"

"No buts." He quickly looked up to meet her eye, noticing how her mouth was now turned upwards slightly at the corners, before turning back to the patient. Yet, as ever, she still insisted for him to leave.

"That procedure-"

"Will be done another time, Con."

"You shouldn't be-"

He sighed, but didn't look up at her as he talked. "I'm not going anywhere, I'm here and you know why I'm here." He smiled at Ellie who glanced up at the woman behind him, half expecting her to continue arguing. However she didn't, instead she left the cubicle, muttering about patient notes and discharge forms and that she would be back once she had found them.

"My goodness, she isn't half stubborn is she?" The woman whispered just so Jacob could hear, and in response he laughed and nodded.

"Tell me about it. What am I supposed to do?"

"You look after her, dear. She's changed when you're about." Jacob paused, looking directly at Ellie as she gave a slight smile. He then looked back down, and continued to clean and dress the laceration to her leg. "Oh, I am sorry... I thought you two were-"

"No no, we are. Didn't take long for you to figure that one out." This time it was his turn to smile, and Ellie chuckled slightly in response.

"I can tell these things. And I don't think anybody else would have dared to tell a patient to ignore her." She raised her head to look at the nurse, before lowering back down onto the bed and wincing slightly as the antiseptic stung her skin.

"I'm actually pretty surprised I got away with that."

"Oh?"

Jacob laughed, and picked up a needle to begin stitching the cut. "Something about compromising her professionalism." He winked again, before turning his focus back onto Ellie's leg.

"She didn't mind."

"Hm?"

"She wanted you in here. It was you she was looking for, outside."

"You are observant."

"Oh, years of practice."

Jacob didn't reply, neither of them talked until he had finished.

"Okay, if you just sit up for me..." Jacob took the woman's hands and helped her to sit, before removing his gloves and pushing the trolley out of the way. He heard the curtain open behind him, and he glanced up to see Connie move around to show Ellie the forms that needed signing, as well as her prescribed painkillers.

"Is there anyone we can call for you?"

"Oh no, my husband is on his way in."

"Okay. Do you want one of us to-"

"No, no don't be silly. You two go, he won't be long. Thank you." She smiled at them, and watched as Jacob placed his hand at Connie's back as he followed her out of the cubicle.


	34. Chapter 34

With a frustrated sigh, she walked over to the gaggle of staff members who had assembled themselves in front of the reception desk, minus Jacob. He would usually be there, or outside of her office to wait the half hour or so until her shift ended, but she hadn't seen him at all since he had brought her coffee after finishing for the evening. They were talking excitedly amongst themselves, and she had to mentally brace herself before interrupting.

"Excuse me, um, have you seen Jacob around?"

She was taken aback as several people jumped and turned to face her, before their shock settled and instead she was met with bemused stares, and a series of whispers and failed attempts at straight faces.

"Is there a problem?"

Connie watched as several of them looked down or even sidled away, excusing themselves. Rita nervously bit at her lower lip, before raising her gaze to meet Connie's hard glare.

"Connie, sorry, we er... well, we thought-"

She stopped as she heard Max being to snigger behind her, but quickly turned her attention back to Connie, favouring now the more direct approach which would perhaps terminate this increasingly awkward situation.

"Try the on call room."

"Thank you, Nurse Freeman."

Connie raised her eyebrow pointedly at the group before walking away and to her office, where she took her coat and bag before locking the door behind her. She sighed, before taking the side stairs to the upper floors. She had no desire to go back to the front of the department and up the main stairs now, undeniably confused as to the reason for the reception she had received there moments earlier.

She stopped outside of the on call room minutes later, irritated and confused. Not a good combination by anyone's standards, especially hers. She reached out a hand to knock on the door, but retracted it sharply when she heard a loud clang, and a muffled groan come from inside the room. Now out of patience, she turned the handle and opened the door, and stopped as she saw Jacob laid out over the width of the bed, a dumbbell lying on the floor beside his feet and in the middle of lifting a makeshift barbell. Her gaze was then lifted upwards as she noticed the light bulb swinging above his head.

"You hit the light."

"Yup."

He struggled slightly to speak as he lowered the weight onto his chest, and then turned his head to the side to look at her.

"Hey."

She didn't reply, but pressed her back into the door to shut it, before walking slowly to stand in front of him. She reached an arm up to steady the light bulb, and tilted her head to see him looking up at her, smiling.

"Why are you smiling at me?"

"Because I love you."

He stated simply, before pushing the barbell back into the air, taking more care to avoid the light. A tight smile pulled at her lips, and she shook her hair over her back as she shrugged her bag onto the bed.

"Why are you doing this now?"

"Max wants some help with a training programme, and... brought these in to turn the office into... some kind of gym space. I'm trying them out." He spoke in between breaths, and lowered the barbell to his chest again.

"Office?"

She raised an eyebrow, and Jacob laughed, forgetting that these were the kind of things that probably bypassed her.

"Porters' cupboard."

"Right."

He lifted the weight once more, breathing steadily out as he did so before it contracted suddenly, every muscle in his body tensing as he registered her weight now on him. He didn't ;t dare to lift his head from the bed, once he met the intent that he knew would be there in her eyes with his, he knew he wouldn't be able to restrain himself. He closed his eyes as he tried to focus only on lowering the weight, not on the fact that she was sat right over him, her legs hanging over his and her hands pressing the mattress down on either side of him.

"You know, things are making sense now."

As she spoke, he rolled the barbell over onto the left side of the bed, which collided with the wood of the headboard with a loud thump.

He turned his head to the side, watching as she leant over to steady with her hand.

"Things?"

"Mhm."

"Would you care to be anymore specific?"

Slowly, he raised himself up on his elbows, unable to refrain from doing so any longer. He then sat up a little more, wrapping both of his arms around her waist and pulling her closer against him, her legs now hitting gently against the bed. She tilted her head again, and struggled against a smile as she folded them up, and wrapped them loosely about him, on top of the duvet covers so that the heels of her shoes didn't dig into his back.

"They thought I was in here."

"They?"

"Mhm. Rita, Max, Robyn..."

"When?"

"Just now, in reception. I was looking for you."

"Ah." He bit his lip, beginning to understand. "I bet you got some funny looks."

"No thanks to you."

"Hey, what did I-"

"You were making noises!"

Now she was definitely smiling, and he reached his head slightly to kiss her. She responded immediately, her mouth opening to deepen the kiss as her arms proceeded to wrap around his neck. He pulled back reluctantly, his fingers reaching to her cheek and then to her hair as he pushed a stray strand back behind her ear.

"I love you."

"I love you too."

He placed a soft kiss to her neck, and simply looked at her until she squirmed and rolled her eyes.

"So."

"So?"

"Well, it's not as if they aren't already presuming this is what were doing. I might as well make the awkwardness downstairs worthwhile for you."

"I think you should."


	35. Chapter 35

"Would you say yes?"

He looked down at her in their bed, nestled against his side, her face tilted at the perfect angle so that he could read her every expression in it's beautiful entirety. She scrunched her nose in response before sighing, exhaling so that her hair blew upwards and tickled at his chin.

"Maybe."

"I've interpreted that as Connie for 'yes, I just don't want to sound like I might actually enjoy it.'"

He pressed a kiss to the top of her head, grinning as he heard her mumble faintly into the pillow.

"This weekend?"

She turned her head upwards again when he spoke, her lips slightly parted and an eyebrow raised.

"Why are you even asking? I know you, you've already planned it for the weekend I have off, so I'm hardly going to argue, am I?" She couldn't help but smile once she'd finished her little burst of mock indignation, and it only grew as he pressed a kiss to the tip of her nose and cuddled her closer to his side.

"You know, sweet cheeks, I was warned about you."

"Hm?"

"I was told I was playing with fire."

"Who-"

"I mean, of course, you are terrifying. But you're also very cute when you're sleepy, and when you're drunk, and when-"

"Stop it!" She pressed a hand to his chest as she silenced him with a kiss, before breaking away as she remembered what she had been about to ask.

"Who have you been talking to about me?"

"Oh, I wouldn't know where to begin..." He trailed off as he watched the lines around her mouth change, then her eyes. "Griffin, I think-"

"Ric?" Her eyes widened, and a small smirk replaced her frown. "When did you ever talk to Ric?"

"He's in the gym sometimes, I-"

"You and that bloody gym!"

"You complaining, sweet cheeks?"

She took a moment to consider, before rolling her eyes and smiling. "No."

"Anyway, as I was saying, I've seen him in the gym. And well, what with you being you-"

"Oh, for pity's sake-"

"-all crazy high profile cardiac surgeon, clinical lead, notoriously stern and..."

"Bitchy, cold, unapproachable, yes I do know all of this-"

"-all of which is really not quite true." He winked at her, watching as she smiled a little and sighed, allowing him to continue. "He just gave me a few 'warnings.' Actually, I think he has a bit of a thing for you."

Before she could stop it, a low laugh escaped her. His face turned to hers, a picture of surprise and evident confusion.

"When was this?" She asked, once again to his surprise.

"Months back now, why-"

"So, Ric told you that you were 'playing with fire'?" She struggled to keep her expression straight, thinking back to all those years ago; her first day. Meeting Jacob and learning of their relationship must have come as quite a surprise to him.

"Mhm. There were a few other things as well, but I think it would be unwise for me to repeat them... Where are you going?"

He tilted his head, becoming increasingly suspicious of her behaviour. He had expected a torrent of interrogation, but now she began to move, easing herself from the bed and crossing the room to the wardrobe. He let out a soft groan, before pulling himself up onto his elbows to rest against the headboard.

"What time is it?"

"Nearly five-thirty. Answer my question."

"What was-"

"What's going on?"

"Jacob, we need to get a move on-"

"You weren't saying that earlier, and I told you it was a bad idea to go back to bed in the afternoon, you didn't listen."

Trying, and failing, to conceal a smile she stepped into her skirt, quickly spinning around to choose a shirt from the wardrobe, her back turned from him as she spoke.

"Jacob, move."

"I'm quite happy here. Why are you finding this thing with Ric so amusing?"

"I'm not!"

She turned back around, slipping her arms into the sleeves of the shirt, facing him as she did up the buttons and tucked it into her skirt. He continued to watch her, his eyes unmoving from hers, searching her.

"Oh..." She watched as after a moment, his eyes narrowed and he folded his arms in front of his chest. "Oh, you..."

"Jacob, we need to leave-"

"Have I got this right?"

"Have you got what right?"

"Let me just have a moment to... Regroup. What he said... Oh, and I'm seeing now that you're doing quite possibly the worst job ever of distracting me. You're getting dressed far too quickly."

She raised an eyebrow, before folding her arms and mimicking his position. She did, however, once again fail to bite back a smile.

"You two had a thing."

"Oh, I wouldn't call it a _thing_ as such."

Now, it was his turn to raise an eyebrow.

"So...?"

"More like first day nerves."

"Oh, you are unbelievable."

She bit back a smile, before bending down to retrieve her shoes. Once she had put them on, she looked up to see Jacob still sat in the bed, his arms now behind his head.

"Oh come on, don't be-"

"He's quite old, isn't he?"

"He wasn't then! Jacob, it was..." She paused, mentally calculating. Once she had recalled the number, she came to stand at the foot of the bed, fixing her gaze on his and pressing her hands into the wooden frame. "I slept with Ric, on my first day, twelve years ago."

"Here?" Later, he realised that this had been a stupid question. She'd bought the house on accepting this job, she hadn't even been in the country for a year before that.

"In his office."

"Sorry, of course. You're fire, I remember now."

"Mhm. Oh, and..." She waited for him to lean forwards, and she pressed a gentle kiss to his lips before continuing. "I'm already looking forward to the weekend."

And with that, she left the room, and he was left in a daze of shock, amusement and desire. In a moment, he was reminded of how completely unpredictable, and unstoppable she could be. This thought was then followed by another, that this very same woman had settled with him, told him that she loved him, and was looking forward to a quiet weekend away that he had planned. He shook his head in disbelief, before swinging his legs around and pulling himself from the bed, grinning as he contemplated just how interesting his next gym session could be.


	36. Chapter 36

It was now Friday afternoon, and two hours into the second part of her double shift, when there was a knock at her office door.

"Just wait a minute, I'm not..." She trailed off distractedly, struggling with the zip at the back of her dress. She had had to change after an unfortunate incident in resus, and she was now decidedly irritated, especially as all she wanted to do was finish her shift and leave to spend the weekend away from the city. This fact, however, had meant that taking a double shift was necessary in order to accommodate both her clinical and admin duties, so that fewer mistakes could be made by her less rigorous counterpart whilst she was out of the department.

The door opened and shut shortly after she had spoken out, and she looked up to watch Jacob as he came to stand behind her, brushing her hair over shoulders as he reached to find the zip she was struggling with, positioned at the lower middle section of her spine.

"Anyone else would just put on a scrub top."

He slowly drew the zip up, his head tilted as he concentrated on making sure he didn't nip her skin. He paused just underneath where the clasps of her bra showed, sighing before raising the metal over and stepping back just slightly, turning her around to then flick her hair down her back. She exhaled a little dejectedly as she took in his appearance; his jacket, his bag. Ready to leave. She placed one hand then on his chest, and he wrapped his arms around her as he regarded her noticeably quiet demeanour.

"Anything I can do, Con?" He spoke softly, looking down at her but again, she didn't respond, giving in momentarily to her fatigue. Instead she nodded faintly against his chest, before turning her head upwards to his.

"If I give you a list, will you pack for me?"

He looked at her, a confused smile edging it's way onto his face.

"A list?"

"Yes."

"Okay... But you'd best get started now if you want me to be done by the time you're finished here."

She raised an eyebrow, her lips pursed as she tried to suppress a smile.

"It's a pre-prepared list."

His own smile then changed from confusion to one of fond amusement.

"Oh, so you'd 'pre-prepared' for me to pack for you?"

"Naturally."

Now she grinned and moved away from his arms, finding some renewed vigour. She had been looking forward to this weekend away ever since Jacob had mentioned it. She hadn't needed to plan anything, there was no stress. It was time away, time away that was needed; for the two of them.

"So, where is this list?"

He watched her as she stepped over the discarded blouse, and opened the top drawer of her desk. She passed a folded piece of paper over to him, which he opened immediately.

"Typed, of course." He shook his head in mock disbelief, and she watched him with a smile from the desk, leaning over onto her hands. He scanned the items on the list, pausing at intervals and making a mental note of his questions.

"Okay?"

"Just a few things." He looked up at her, lowering the paper as she tilted her head, waiting. "Uncharacteristically, you haven't been very specific."

"Jacob, there's even colours specified on there, what more do you-"

"'Mascara.'"

"Yes?"

"Well how am I supposed to know which one? You have at least five!"

"You watch me do it every day!"

He sighed, deciding to move on.

"'Underwear, one black set and one white.'" He looked back up at her, to see that she was trying not to laugh. "Well which ones? Do you want the black lace set, white lace set, both lace or-"

"You choose, because you seem to be a lot more concerned about my underwear choice than I am." She said with a smirk, which earned her another exasperated sigh from Jacob.

"But I'll pick the wrong ones!"

"You won't." She moved from the desk, taking the list from him and placing it down, slinging her arms loosely around his neck before placing a soft kiss to his lips. "Please stop worrying about trying to make me happy. You always do."

He sighed as he kissed her, still a little unconvinced. He wanted everything to be perfect, just as she wanted.

"Right, I need to finish these reports, and I'll be home in a few hours. Thank you..." She kissed him one more time, before pulling back and bending to pick up her blouse from the floor. "Oh, and could you wash that please?"

She tossed her stained blouse to him, grinning as his expression formed one of disgust. He pinched the seams of it between the fingers of his right hand, took her list in his other, his satchel now slung haphazardly about his body. She opened the door for him, ushering him out quickly but pausing to stay at the door, mouthing a quick "I love you" when he glanced back at her, shaking his head fondly before turning around the corner.


End file.
